Lessons learned from a Cemetary

We did some weird things today. We took a tour of a cemetary. Not really a TOUR! we noticed some cool trees for pictures, and ventured in. I can't help but notice the tombstones,the names, and the dates. I feel a sermon coming on... bear with me!


So I learn a few things from these three things. Life is WAY more than the what they can put on a mere tomb stone. The stones mark the life of the person "resting" (as I tried to explain to Zech) in that spot. But does it actually tell how a person lived. I can look at the tomb stone and only know 2 things about that person. Their name, and their age. I can't tell where they are spending eternity. I can't tell if they were actually a beloved mother or father or if their children only placed it on their headstone to ease their own hurts. I learn that if I want to be known past my tiny inscription on a stone I must LIVE! I must show my life and who I live it for while I am alive, and pray that those God touches by it will see those 2 little things and fill in the blanks. Maybe they'll say I mothered knowing these precious kids do not belong to me. Maybe they will say that I could witness even when my speach was gone. Maybe they could tell of how much I loved my husband and children. They will only say it if I LIVE it.
The names on the stones are in bold. They are there to represent that family line. Many stones in a row bore the same bold name. When people walk among a cemetary and see CISKE, I pray it bears a sense of pride! The Ciske name is what God has changed me into! I've carried a name that meant nothing to me. It wasn't my mother's name, it was not the name of the man I called Dad (even my biological dad wasn't a REED!). But by the grace of God, he allowed me to gain a new name. The name he choose for me CISKE! A name that I want to cherish as a strong name. I learn that there is pride in a name. I learn that I must teach my kids the pride ( a godly pride) that comes with being a CISKE. That we continue to keep a Ciske legacy of Christ following believers. I learned that its something I must act each day. I bear the name, and I make it mean something when people see it on a stone someday.
And thirdly, I learn that people die. There's birth, and then there's another date... they die (I know, maybe I should have known this before!). We don't get to be here forever. Although I did see many that lived long lives. Many that outlived their husbands by 30+ years. But no matter what, if a body lies there, someone has died. I will die. Once that happens, my LIFE is over. (This is deep, huh?) So to live Life, I only have this time. To tell others about LIFE, I must live it now! Christ has given it. "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." ) John 10:10. or Life more abundantly! We die, we must live. I pray that I live for my kids. Not a life, but a LIFE after God. Not just any tombstone, one that shows I lived, not just any name, one that proves LIFE from Christ abundant, and not just any life, but a life living for God. Parenting for God, loving for God, passion for God... LIVING for God!
Heaven awaits! But we are not there yet... I must keep living!
So, I lived with my children today, noticing the life they are just beginning. The tombstones are not being written for them yet, their name is just becoming important to them, and their life is just so fun... so full!

Smile much! (even if its a bit fake)

Laugh often!

Find Beauty (even if it is just a weed)

Let your hair blow in the wind!

And as much as you can... Show compassion!

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew 19:14

The ups and Downs of Motherhood

I woke up this morning (well, actually knew before I went to bed last night) that today could be a trying day. I don't feel good. Ihad to sleep sitting up last night, and I knew I'd be stuck in the house all day. I don't know why I let myself feel closed in just because I know I am not going anywhere all day, but it happens. Dave will be home late, and I started the day off tired and sick.

The kids were fine. I cleaned the house and took them outside. I did my devotions out there, interrupted with the occasional hoarsed voiced yell "LILY GET BACK ON THE GRASS!" or "ZECH WATCH THAT STICK!" Then for some reason the Ciske kids' listening ears were turned off. Lily wouldn't come back up, Zech was having a fit over his bike. Lily wanted cookies, Zech didn't think she should have them. I had to actually give time outs outside! ON MY MOTHER'S DAY GIFT!!!

So Zech got sent inside while lily finished up her snack. When we came in Zech was just abnormally aggrivated. i tried to keep my cool and let him know that bed time was coming soon. As I fixed lunch hoping they'd worn themselves out outside and would go down for nap an hour early, Zech says "Okay! I will be strong in the Lord and the Power of His might! I will be good for the rest of the day!" Then he recited it again. "Be strong in the Lord and the power of his might! Ephesians 6:10"

Our memory verse from a few weeks ago! It change the outlook of the whole day! and sure gave me a mommy boost! Not only did he memorize it, he applied it! Now for me and my sick self! I, too, will be strong in the lord and the power of his might!

The kids and I were wrestling around when Lily (in jibberish I am certain) says "boobies"

Zech: You don't have boobies, Lily!

Mommy, why doesn't Lily have boobies?

Mommy: Lily is just a baby girl so she doesn't have boobies. But we don't talk about boobies, Zech.

Zech: Oh, okay (Face red and head down in embarrassment) I have to go to bed now. Goodnight! (nap time is still 45 min away!)

Dog Days of... spring?

I won't dare say anything negative about the wonderful spring weather. I think we've only come in long enough to sleep!

I just feel like I have so much more energy when we can get out and run. I turn into a mom who used to clean all day to a mom who runs all day (and has less time to clean... oops)! I love watching the kids have fun! It makes my day seem shorter which isn't always a good thing, and causes me to sleep better at night. I go to bed knowing they had a blast all day long. The last 36 hours I think the kids thought play time never ended! And secretly I pray they close their eyes before a LONG night of rest thinking... "Man, I have great parents!!!"

Last night we tried a new park. They fell in love with the tire swing!

Lily fell off once... but held on for dear life and Momma got to her fast! We then went and bought a Bird Feeder. We can hear them chirping (I LOVE IT). and Zech thought it'd be nice to eat breakfast with the birds. I was proud at such a fun idea from my 3 year old. While at Walmart, He had another very fun idea! A KITE!

So of course I had to add a buck to the bill and get him one. He woke up ready to fly it this morning. Unfortunately, there was just no wind. I don't think he even understood that you needed wind to fly a kite. He's inventive... he can make his own wind.

I was definately a great mom today... I let them go ahead and get in sand box... and they never got out (I really HATE sand!)

But I really love them!

We came home to wash up, eat lunch, then jump in the tub really quick. I thought this would help them wind down for nap. It helped me! hehe!

Then, I was rewarded for such a crazy day! I got an early Mother's Day present! it came in this box...

Oh yeah, did I mention that Lily is addicted to dresses? She really wants to wear one every minute of every day! Where she got her prissy ways, I am not sure! But if its not hurting anyone, I am not going to fight her. Its a bit big... but Oh, SO CUTE!But does it matter what she wears? She's just too cute anyway! Oh yeah, I bet you want to know my early Mother's Day gift? It comes with Chairs... with Pillows? It's comfy, but I wouldn't use it quite in the same way.

Its not just the furniture, its the prospect of being outside ALL THE TIME! That is the real gift! Outdoor activities.

Reading, chatting, lounging, Family dinners...

Which was the first thought in Zech's mind. Even though it was already after dinner and about 20 min until bedtime, he insisted on having peanut butter and jelly! They thought it was very fun! I am sure the neighbors wanted to run out to let us know there was no need for an unbrella, the sun had gone down... I am thinking the kids didn't care. The unbrella is their favorite part!

Bring on the "Dog days of Spring!" we are ready! I can't wait to be out again tomorrow!!!

Multi-Tasking?

I guess you can stand proudly and say you might be a supermom if you can drive 2 toddlers on a 6+ hour road trip while

• Cleaning up puke
• pouring pedialyte in sippy cups
• feeling forheads for fevers
• handing back snacks from the BRAT diet while timing how long it takes them to puke it up.
• changing DVDs in the DVD player, then changing it again becuase you put the wrong one in (according to a 3 year old)
• reading directions as to get on the right interstate/calling to see if you've got yourself lost
• handing wet wipes back to clean hands and whatever else
• searching for the right toy to calm a sick 16 month old only to have to reach back around and re-search when they've dropped it out of frustration!
• Refilling pedialyte cups
• agreeing to more BRAT snacks (since they didn't puke up the first ones)
• tucking them in for their naps
• untucking them when it got too hot
• and still making it home in record time!

I don't usually feel like super mom, but after a trip like that, I can proclaim it loud enough for all the REAL supermoms to hear!

Just some funny things

My kids are just so funny, and sometimes I don't make the time to jot them down. So here are a few comical moments...

Giving Zech a haircut and I say "WOW, you look like Buzz Lightyear!"
He looks at me in disgust... "I am NOT buzz lightyear!"
"Oh, of course, you look just like Batman!"
He looks straight at me in the mirror and says "Mommy, I am ZECH! Not Batman or Buzz! I am ZECH!"

During that same haircut something went wrong and Iaccidently cut his ear witht he scissors.
"Put those Sicssors away! You cut my ear! Put them down, NOW!"
I felt so bad I had to comply!

We take the kids to the park. Dave is swinging Zech without looking at his terrified face. Finally Zech politely tells his daddy, "I'm done swinging now." And gets down walking away saying "That was REALLY scary!" Poor guy!

Lily (who is struggling through her learning to speak) runs into the Living room from the kitchen and says "ABAAA! ABAAA" and points frantically in the kitchen! I can tell she is trying to speak, but I can not for the life of me figure out her new words. Finally she throws her hands in the air and does her fake spider scream "AHHHHHH!" when it struck me, she's saying "A BUG!" so she leads me to the box elder bug she has found in the kitchen. With much tomboy delight we capture it and put it in our bug container... don't worry we let it go OUTSIDE! Bugs do not belong inside. At which time both kids wave good-bye and lily says "wuv vue"* to her beloved bug!

*LOVE YOU (duh!)

What if...

I've had this blog in my mind for quite a long time, so I finally get the chance, I think I'll record it!

As wife, mother, children's director, friend, daughter, sister, and WOMAN, I think its only natural that we think "What if..." Its a daily thing for me.

What if Zech's 12 and is still asking for his pacifier? What if Lily never speaks? What if my husband thinks I am a slob who has given up on the house? What if parents think I am not teaching their kids enough on Sunday mornings? what if I don't confront a friend? What if I do? What if my mother never calls me again? What if I had a better relationship with my sister? What if I totally screwed up as a woman today?

The what if list can go on forever. I ask them all the time.

They can come in the shallow forms. What if I had just two extra arms. Could I get more done? Could I give more hugs, could I carry groceries and backpacks, and diaper bags, and kids? What if I had stretching arms. Could I spank without having to even get off the couch? What if I could do one step and it equal 4? I could definately use that!

They come in normal thoughts. What if I save and don't overspend this month, will we have enough money for extra photo equipment? What if we just eat turkey burgers everyday this week, that saves in grocery bills. What if I put these shoes with that skirt, will my ankles look skinnier?

Then there are those deep what ifs that seem to really bombard my mind.What if homeschooling wears me out, or what if it energizes me. What if I didn't give enough hugs during the day. I ponder if the kids will get saved young and seriously pursue God for the rest of eternity... What if? What if they become the new generation of complete sold out believers? and then again... what if they don't? What if I can really teach them what it means to seek God and all the great and wonderful things that come out of it, and they reinforce it with their siblings... and then the dreaded... What if they don't? What if the things of the world appeal to them regardless of how I raise them? What if Mommy's words don't stick in their heads when the time comes and they have to make their own decisions? What if... What if...

What if I pray? What if I give these worries to God? What if He actually listens and is already taking care of the answers RIGHT NOW! What if He is true, and His word is Hope, and His everlasting love and investment in our lives is REAL?

What if I accept that when I raise my children in the way they should go, when they are old they will not depart from it.

Well, I have to come to the conclusion that if I did all those things, there'd be way less things to wonder "what if..." about.

What if I actually believe and act? HMMM lets see?

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6

My Baby Boy

When I found out I was pregnant with Zech it may have been the greatest day of my life up to that point. My wedding day was TERRIFIC, but it was a guarentee! I knew it would happen, I knew it would be great. But getting pregnant didn't happen right away, so seeing that VERY faint line on the test was the greatest moment... up to that point!
The day they told me that they were going to schedule the C-Section for March 4th, I loved the date... 03-04-05 It was going to be unique, something I knew he'd be! That day came, I woke up SO early. We had to be at the hospital by 7am. I couldn't wait. We arrived at the hospital, and I got really nervous. I didn't know what to expect with the surgery, and I was so scared for his health. I didn't have a voice, but had I been able to speak, I was completely speechless. Everything that could go wrong ran through my mind. I began singing "Put your trust in God" over and over in my head. I shook so bad they could barely get the spinal in place in order to start the process. When Dave finally walked in the OR, I asked him to sing to me. He held my hand and watched the proceedure. Then I asked "Have they started yet" and not even 5 seconds later they shouted, "There he is..." They showed me this huge purple-y smushy baby... for about 3 seconds. It broke my heart to see him such a short time. My mind did not have enough time to process what he looked like. I looked at Dave and told him to go with him. I laid there praying, saying "Keep crying, Baby!" The doctor announced how large he was and how happy she was with the decision to go ahead with the c-section. The nurses spoke with glee about this baby boy that I barely got to see.
Soon Dave walked over with my baby Zech in his hands. The best moment in my life!
He was SO chunky! but looked so small in Dave's arms. I couldn't wait to unwrap him and look him all over. I wanted to kiss every toe, and see his hair. I knew the first 5 seconds of staring at him I would never forget what he looked like! He was an angel!
That very first day he screamed so hard I looked at him and thought, "What could be so horrible!" he was a determined baby. When the breast milk wasn't available at the touch of his lips, he wanted to let us know how upset he was about it. He screamed and screamed and SCREAMED...
3 years later that same personality, though subdued a bit, is SO evident. He is strong willed, He wants what he wants right away... but he is just about the sweetest, funniest, smartest boy I've ever had the honor to know! And he's mine!
He may get 9-15 time outs a week, but he gives 20-25 hugs and kisses a day!
He may tackle his sister over a match box car, but he lovingly kisses her forehead for no reason at all. He may want what he wants RIGHT NOW... but he learns things before I get the chance to teach it!
He is so smart, such a quick learner. He loves order, and is a great organizer. Once he finds out that there are easier ways to do things, he is quick to give up the bad habits.
He's such a great and wonderful, terrific and awesome super cool kid! His 3 year old body sitting in my lap melts my heart. He has captured my affections and will have a very endearing hold on my heart for the rest of my life. I see him growing into a wonderful, God loving child, who loves to sing God's praises, and looks forward to his time in church. I look into the future and see a young man that serves God with a strong will, God's! I see him going after what God has laid out for him with great passion! And I continue to pray that he will hate what is evil and cling to what is good! My Zech! I love you, buddy! You are such a joy to me!

Zechariah David 03-04-05

10:11am

9lbs 5 oz

Zechariah David (and that famous Smile)

03-04-08

32 lbs!

There WAS a slide show here, but its acting silly !!!

Cinderella

She spins and she sways to whatever song plays
without a care in the world
and I'm sitting here wearing
the weight of the world on my sholders

Its been a long day and there's still work to do
she's pulling at me saying, "Dad I need you
There's a ball at the castle and I've been invited
and I need to practice my dancing, oh please, daddy, please"

So I will dance with Cinderella while she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella, I don't want to miss even one song
Cause all too soon, the clock will strike midnight and she will be gone
she will be gone

She says he's a nice guy and I'd be impressed
She wants to know if I approve of the dress
she says "Dad the prom is just one week away
and I need to practice my dancing, oh please, Daddy, please"

So I will dance with Cinderella while she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella, I don't want to miss even one song
Cause all too soon, the clock will strike midnight and she will be gone
she will be gone

But she came home today with a ring on her hand
just glowing and telling us all they had planned
she says "Dad the wedding is still six months away
and I need to practice my dancing, oh please Daddy please

So I will dance with Cinderella while she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella, I don't want to miss even one song
Cause all too soon, the clock will strike midnight and she will be gone
she will be gone
Cinderella by Steven Curtis Chapman
Can be heard here... http://www.myspace.com/stevencurtischapman

I have a bajillion things to comment about this song... but I will keep it short...

It has always been my dream to be a daddy's little girl. I think I would have played the role well. God blessed me with His fatherly ways with me, and gave me a wonderful husband that can fill that void to a point. So although that dream will never COMPLETELY come true, I see it in the future of my daughter. I see how she looks at him and melts into his arms with such comfort.
I can see her desire to be in the cinderella dress already, and a dancer she is becoming. So this song seems fitting to sum up the relationship I see in them. A daddy and his baby girl.
It makes me cry! What a blessing. What a sight!
Theres only a few changes I see my daughter's daddy making... No prom... he he, and no letting go! Midnight will never come!
And her daddy will never miss a song. What a great Daddy!

Winter Wonderland

Okay, so I hate the snow. I only like it when it snows and then melts again the next day! Thats it. I am not a fan of it staying for an entire season. However, it is a creation of God... along with these beauties...

Life is Good

Lately life has been pretty good. Not that its not always good, but things seem different. The kids are being really well behaved, we are getting things done (the house has stayed clean for 10 days straight!) I feel like I have extra energy... things are good.
I've been really disciplined in my morning devotions. It started that I got up early to watch this little girl. While I waited for her to arrive I sat and did my devotions. Before that I was disorganized with them. I would get them done, but many times they were rushed or done everyday at different times. Now, every morning before the kids get up. The girl no longer comes, but the blessings from God do! I really think that being organized in my devotional walk makes a difference in me.
I don't get as frustrated as easily at the craziness of the kids. They seem to be in better moods the more organized things get. We are playing great games, and Zech is singing his worship songs all the time. He cracks me up with his own renditions of our cute little kids church worship.
J-E-S-U-S He's my Lord and King!
Sing hallelujah, shout Amen!
The lord your God will be with you... wherever you go!
SO CUTE!!!
I am trying to get a video made soon!
I don't have much to say, but some pics to share... aren't they cute? How can't life be good!?

We have something wonderful, he and I... a rare and beautiful love that is really unique. I know we're not the first ones to feel this way, but something special sets us apart. We relate to each other so completely... as friends, lovers, confidants... and we share such beautiful memories... like those first carefully chosen words and the first time we shared our deepest hopes and dreams. The time we spend together is the most important part of my day-- Moments when our love enriches all that we share, moments that I'm so grateful for all that he alone brings to my world. I know that ours is a rare and beautiful love, the kind that only happens once in a lifetime, and the most important person in my life is him.

(its a given that Christ is the most important person in my life... Dave is also highly revered)

This was a card I got Dave for our anniversary. It is 100% true! He is a once in a lifetime love. One that I can not imagine living one day without! We went to see P.S. I Love You last night. The husband dies and before he passes away (while he was still sick) he orchastrated these series of gifts, letters, and trips to be given to his wife up to a year after he died. I could not handle the thought of losing my husband. Even if he was the hopeless romantic that would do all those things even when he was dieing (which, he's not!). I thought I would have to leave the theater I was about to break out in a sob.

Then at the pediatricians office today I hear that the doctor who Lily is being referred to for her ears is scaling back on her patients because her husband has just died. I felt sick to my stomach. the thought makes me sob!

I've always thought we had what most couples don't. Our connection and inner understanding of one another makes us a power couple. I am so proud of us and our relationship especially when I talk to other women and they state how envious they are of what we have. First of all its because of God. He strategically placed us together using our strengths to attract us to each other and using our personal weaknesses to make us realize we needed each other.

2nd of all its because our our prayer for one another. Keeping our relationship in prayer and under God's authority keeps us strong.

3rd of all its Dave and his committment. He works so hard to fix the wrongs and keep right all the thrills. He commits to a good marriage and he sticks to it. I could never find another perfect mate.

I blog this in my motherhood blog because having a good marriage makes us good parents. Loving my husband like I do, and knowing he loves me like he does makes Lily a great wife and Zech a great husband. They learn love, a godly love, by our wonderful marriage!

I love it!

7 Years Ago

7 years ago today, I was heading to my hairdressers with so much excitement and anticipation! Not because I was going to get my hair done "Just perfect" but because I was 8 hours from becoming a WIFE!
I woke up that morning from a nightmare that they had played "Who let the dogs out" as I walked down the isle. Then I jumped up and began going over my checklist.

• Make the boutonnieres


• Make the bouquets


• get My hair done


• pick up the Subway sandwiches


• Get my dress on


• Get Married

It was the perfect part of my fairy tale! The end to much planning, the beginning of a life I could never even imagine would be so awesome! I walked down that isle with the biggest smile I've ever had. I was very happy and overwhelmed having my children, but there was just as much worry and concern at their births. The wedding day however had no concerns, no worries, no reservations. I knew he was the perfect man. The most wonderful husband for me!

That first year we loved every minute of being together. I remember thinking it was like a never ending sleepover (WITH A BOY!) We'd stay up late, and wake up together with such anticipation of what would happen next. Everyone had told us that the 1st year would be horrible. We set out to prove them wrong... and we succeeded with flying colors. We managed our home together, combined our schedules, and was on a track of wedded bliss.

That second year we moved to St. Louis. The month of April was the worst month of our lives. We had gone through a major decision process together with no problems, but once we got there we couldn't figure out how to adjust to our new roles in full time ministry. God quickly helped us through and we grew in leaps and bounds not only in God but in our marriage as well.

Our third year we decided to have a baby. It took the entire year! I never questioned that Dave was the one I should marry, but I was so worried we would never share a child together.

Our fourth year, we became parents! What a great adventure! That year was very rough on us ministry wise. It was great to have a family to ease us through the other very difficult time!

Our fifth year was spent very far from any of our friends and family. We had to solely rely on each other. We'd already built such a great foundation of communication that it came very easy for us. We truly were the best of friends. Not that we became best friends that year, we had always been, but we really realized how great that friendship was!

Our 6th year we added Lily to our crew! And moved again, and went into a totally new lifestyle. It was very comfortable. And we began to realize that we were getting TOO comfortable even in our marriage. We began to add things to make sure we weren't simply co-existing, but were continuing to grow as a couple. It started to begin towards the end of this year...

NOW, our 7th year! Oh, I can just see how it will flourish! We've NEVER had a bad marriage. We've always had very great communication. We've always had very much fun! But we want to spice things up this year! More dates, more one on one time, even if its here at home. We want to be closer than ever before! I look forward to every day of it!

I married the man of my dreams. Everyday something happens that reminds me of the perfect match we make! He is my best friend, my comforter, and advice giver. He is the best daddy, and all my friends envy me because of him. (I really like that!)

I've lived the dream for 7 years! And it doesn't look like I'll be waking up anytime soon!

Happy Anniversary, Baby!

Dave recently got to "Jam" with some old friends of his. Although Dave did not play or use his musical talents when in High School, he was able to play with some guys that did play in his youth group 10 years or more ago. All of which are currently serving in a church as pastors.
Both Dave and I grew up in a very powerful youth group. Many of our fellow youth group members went on to serving in full time ministry.

Here are some of Dave's buddies that have followed God's calling into church ministry--

These men were in our wedding 7 years ago. All have wives and babies of their own.

Its comforting to get to sit down with them and share ministry blessings and frustrations. Its great to know we are not all alone in this vast calling!

We had the priveledge to sit down at lunch with one of these couples and catch up. They had such disturbing news. Another buddy of ours (he did not grow up with Dave, we met him at North Central) has fallen badly. He took a position that was perfect for his lack of experience and worked very hard. His youth ministry grew from 20 to over 200 in a quick fashion. I remember hearing about what this power team was doing to get the youth ministry to grow. I'd see them at youth convention year after year bringing more and more kids. I couldn't help but be a bit envious (isn't that rediculous?). However, all that time this up and rising youth pastor was physically and mentally abusing his wife. He was addicted to pornography. He began drinking excessively at the height of his ministry. Eventually, his wife kicked him out, for the safety of herself and her children. He moved quickly to date a very young lady (one who had sat under his ministry and was a family friend). She is now carrying another child of his. And his marriage is officially over.

I am in shock. I never really sat down and talked to this couple. Dave knew them pretty well, but I saw what they did in ministry and almost coveted it. It has really brought me back to reality... God wants to use us, but he doesn't need to! He wanted that youth ministry to grow... and probably wanted to teach the youth pastor something in the process. But when the minister wouldn't listen, God's plan still prevailed for those kids! He doesn't need us! Its our honor to serve him and be used by him. I am in awe of how easily and how quickly (less than 5 years) this family has been torn apart from this man's sins. And his lack of love for his God. I am at awe that this young man got to see miracles, and got to see all the wonderful things God did in spite of his unwillingness to comply to God in his personal life-- yet still he has not turned back to God. He has shown up drunk to his previous youth group, has disrespected, and led his wife away from God. I am appauled. I am sad! I am shocked. I am put in my place! God doesn't need me... he wants me!

I need to begin to pray for my "contemporaries". Pray for their focus on God to remain strong. I need to not look at how well the ministry is going for them, and look deep into their life's (through relationships) and keep them encouraged. I know that this guy's wife never expected this when she went to North Central and met a young pastor in training! I've heard "It can happen to anyone" But I refuse to listen. It won't happen to those that never stray away, to those who dig deeper each day into God's word, to those who keep in honest communication with their savior. It won't happen to those who work hard to stay deeply madly passionately in love with their savior! And with God's help, it won't happen to us!

It stood up to all the hype!

Christmas was amazing. I really was so excited I was afraid I'd be let down (thoughts that should be taken captive). I woke up at 6:15 and Dave tells me to go back to bed and let the kids wake us up. I couldn't go back! So finally at 7, I went in and woke them! Great mom, huh?

We ran into the living room and Zech started sorting through them. He opened his Mr. Potato head first... he was so excited he was finished! Lily just tore through hers, didn't really care much about anything that she opened. She did really enjoy pushing her stroller around. That made her very happy. When she saw that she also got some bells, she was getting into the excitement!

Zech opened the computer, and then finally the planet hero! He was priceless! SO happy! We took it out as soon as possible and allowed him to play. "WHOA-OOOO Planet heros... jibber ganna save the day!" It was so great!

Then we went to Opa and Oma's house. He got the coolest movies (his favorite Toy Story... both of em!) and some shake and crash cars... oh my! Lily likes her electronic games too.

I had to go out and buy some totes just to store it all.

The week was just wonderful. Having Beckie and her new family here and sharing in Rachel's engagement. It was definately a Christmas to remember! I can't wait to scrap the page!

here's a pretty long slideshow... it was a long week!

And what a blessing of one as well!

Just one more Sleep!!!

Well, I guess I must sleep tonight, so thats 2 more sleeps UNTIL CHRISTMAS MORNING!
I really thought christmas morning and all the wonderful things that happen that morning was supposed to be more fun for the kids... I don't think so! As a mommy, it is DEFINATELY true, it is better to give than to receive! I am just overjoyed... and a bit over excited! I really don't even remember everything I got the kids. It's not a ton, but very fun things. I think I bought the toys when we had money, then the money ran out so the other things (like undershirts, socks, shoes, clothes) were not bought. So although I want to watch the materialism that happens at Christmas, and the notion that the kids need more toys, I think all that they will be opening is toys toys toys! And for Zech, they are really great toys! He is going to be SO excited! I just CAN NOT WAIT! I am getting into my crazy, I can't sleep mode! Its bad. I will be a zombie by Christmas night!
But who cares, thats part of the fun... I do some silly things when I get REALLY tired!
oh and did I mention I CAN NOT WAIT UNTIL CHRISTMAS MORNING!

MOMMY!!!

There are many different ways to say "Mommy". There's the sweet gentle way they say it when they want to get out of bed in the morning. There's the distressed call of "MOMMMMMMY" in a panicy voice. There's the over and over and over... and over "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy..." I could go on! There's the Zech's "Mommy, Whatcha doin'" (which even though he says WAY too much, its still VERY cute! There's the first words "ma ma". and the not so pleasant grunting/mad/angry at the world "MOMMY!" Its not always the best name to be called. But, thats who I am. I am the one that helps them out of bed, the one that calms the storms (little baby storms), the annoyed one that has drowned out the repeating saying of my name. I am the busy one, the one in that new baby's gaze, and even the one they get mad at... and mine are all under 3.
Before I had babies, I was Stevie, or Sweetie, or Babe. I was Mrs. Ciske, Miss Stevie, or Hey You! Now, my only name is Mommy. I am sure people call me by other names, but the name of Mommy somehow is said a gazillion more times, a trillion times louder, and carried a ton more weight.
I used to pretend I had tons of babies. I never played "day care". I played "MOMMY". I loved the name. I couldn't wait to get older so that I could be one. It was my one desire. My only care about adulthood. I wanted to be married and be that man's Baby Mommy!
When Zech came, it took him forever to say it. I waited and waited. I am pretty sure he was like 18 months old before he said it. I melted. It was the prettiest name I'd ever heard. Then #2 came and it was her first word. now, its said at least 1 million times a day.
When naming my own children I made sure the names had such great meaning. Names that carried along with them blessings and direction. There is a lot in a name.
So praise God, My name is Mommy! I am just so blessed and so grateful for the title.
I love it when I am kissing Zech's face and in between gasps for breath and giggles he says "mommy!". I love it when Lily is looking for me saying "mama! Mama!" I love it when Zech says "Mommy, are you okay, are you hurt, are you sick..." Ilove it when Lily calls for me from her bed (not really at 2am, but in the morning). I love it when Dave says "Go show Mommy!"
I am humbled to have such a wonderful name!

Come on Lexi

Since my last post, this pooping thing has not stopped. Each morning the routine consists of getting lily up, fighting her squirm away as I TRY to keep poop off the floor, then she gets the bathtub as I rinse out her pants and onsies.
To top it off my Zech, who is potty trained, has it too. he just can't help it. He comes to me as if he's utterly disgusted with himself for pooping his pants,something he has been VERY good in not doing, but he can't remedy the situation. I think I like it better on the babies. The house wreaks! Butts are diaper rashed, and my hands are peeling from washing so often...
Seriously, Lexi, I do not mind losing this competition... I could use a break. Could you take over for a bit? Let your mommy clean it up! he he... just kidding, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy... maybe tomorrow is the day for normal poopies. And NO MORE POOPY POSTS!

To Beckie

A few days ago while at my MIL's house Beckie calls her mom (my MIL) to tell her this horrendous story about how Lexi had a bit of gas, but went to sleep so she "let sleeping babies lie" (Good girl, Beckie) but by the time she got her up she had pooped up her back under her arms and up her chest. I can hear MIL laughing in a sympathetic laugh. When she got off the phone we were talking about how horrible that is. I had mentioned how it never really happened to us. That Zech never did it, and Lily did a little once when Dave fed her an entire jar of prunes that morning.
WELL, BECKIE... IT HAPPENED!
Lily is a whinner. I've learned to drown it out and get her when its convienent to me. So she gets up super early this morning and is whinning. I let her whine and cry for about half an hour. I finally go in to get her. When I open the door the blast of foul odor reprimanded me for waiting so long. She was covered in poo! I carried her away from my body into the Living room where the diaper wipes were. HA! Diaper Wipes! This was a washcloth/bath job. So I carry her like she's toxic to the bathroom. Lay her down and begin... it was like one of those huge j0bs where you have to decide "WHERE DO I START?" I decided to get the chunks just so I could get her in the sink for her prewash for her bath. Its 6:30 AM! and she is fighting me tooth and nail. Does she really want to sit in this stuff forever? She should be thanking me! She is a year old, although very tiny, she is fiesty, and wiry and strong! I am exhausted! Finally its cleaned up, clothes and diaper bagged up, sheets changed. Dave walks in and is hit in the face as well with this gag reflexing odor. It was REALLY BAD! It was so bad she had a bit of diaper rash on her knees and thighs.
And, Beckie, if you haven't already learned as a mother, Moms are very competetive... SO
I WIN!!!! he he! I hope your beautiful baby girl isn't ever so foul!
Sorry no pictures, I didn't want poop on the camera! he he

One Year

My Lily baby is one year old today. It was a great day. She had her cake and ate some, too! I look at her and can't believe its really been a year. She has changed my life completely!

I remember when I got married thinking I never wanted girls. Then when I found out I was pregnant with her I was pretty much convinced she was a girl. I was fine with that. When I had my ultrasound and saw that she was my Lily, it was like instantly I had this special bond with her.

One year ago today (let me tell the story so I never forget) I went in the hospital for our planned C-Section at 12:30. We were prepped, asked a gazillion questions, and finally wheeled back to the OR about 2:45. The tech had some trouble getting my spinal in. I remember how badly it hurt and how it completely scared me to death (Was I supposed to feel every move they made?). I said to myself "if this pain only lasts 10 minutes, it will be so much less than most women go through to get their babies." Finally Dave came in the room which means everything was going smoothly. I felt them tugging, I heard their words (they had a discussion about Tubal Ligation, I interrupted them making sure they weren't planning on doing that!) Then she was born.3:22pm Oh, my! I was breathless! She was so tiny! I expected this big girl... she was tiny and SO beautiful! I couldn't believe how much love I had for her. That thought has never gone away. Her personality is so sweet. She loves to hug and cuddle and snuggle up close. She loves to listen to me wisper in her ear. She loves one on one time. She loves to play, to eat, to follow her brother. And it seems that she will always be a love-er. She seems to love life, even at 1 year old.

She's walking, talking, and is still so tiny! I can't believe how she's made me into such a girly girl! I am SO glad I have a daughter!

Lily 11/20/06

Lily 11/20/07