Keep your eyes open, arms up or the roller coaster isn't as fun!

This week has been a pure rollercoaster ride. And not one of those that you WANT to be on. There is a lot of fretting, more worrying, and even more trying to have fun on this ride. I am praying its like a real coaster that lasts such a short while! I appologize in advance for my "vague-ness". Until I get more information, I want to keep my prognosis to myself (and my family, of course). Last week I found myself in the ER , the diagnosis doesn't seem "That serious" but has the potential to become a huge issue. So I have some restrictions put on me, I can not lift my children, need to keep my feet up, and stay calm. HA! So although I am praying that I have a mild case that will heal before my next check up, I am battling the "What if it gets worse" thoughts on a regular basis. I trust my Lord, so I rely on His words, and pray for His healing...

Whats bothering me the most is my lack of energy, and the fact that I can't carry my children. Not to bed, not to the car. Not in playtime, nor when they are hurting. It is so important for me to get a good report at my next appointment that I am being very good at obeying. However, its breaking my heart. When Lily needs me, she usually needs to be carried around. Its breaking my heart not to carry her to bed, not to stand and sway with her when she's upset. I can see her behavior changing. I am pulling her to my lap anytime I can, but I know she knows the difference.

Today I look at my house and think, "I've got to pull my energy and get this house clean... the STEVIE-WAY clean!" I can do a little here, and a little there... then I decided to lay down. Lily comes up and asks to become a baby burrito (she likes to be swaddled in her blankie). So I wrap her and pull her to the couch with me. She lays there and lays there, and lays there. I lay there looking at all the school that needs to be finished before the summer, the clothes that need to be put away, the house that needs to be cleaned but close my eyes rub her back and relax a minute to just be mommy to my baby burrito! There was no stress. No thinking of what the dr could say at the next appt. No worrying about the next "drop" in this ride, not questioning if I was doing enough to stay healthy... just cuddling, just being mom, just loving on my daughter! And the thrill of this ride overcame me!

Invisible Playthings

My kids have quite the imagination! They have these invisible play things. Sometimes its a baby, sometimes its an alligator, sometimes its "The Wild". It drives me nuts. One will have this "plaything" and the other will take it away, then the first child screams and cries because the other "took it away!" I try to convince them that they can manufacture another INVISIBLE-NON-EXISTENT toy, but it doesn't work that way!
Today, I snapped. I took their invisible toys away! I snatched those baby alligator wild things right out of their little hands and "THREW THEM AWAY" (which was really just behind me in that IMAGINARY trash can). Zech gives me this tiny smirk showing me that he completely understands that this is just a silly game... however, that also means he "steals" hers just to get her to scream and cry! Lily however is DEVASTATED! She is acting the same way she would if I went in her room with a trash bag and threw away her most favorite toys. It broke my heart.
So I explained to them that we don't take things away, and that we need to respect each other's toys (imaginary or not!) And then we dug it out of the "trash" so she could play with her... whatever-it-was-this-time toy. All was good in the Ciske home... then I looked up and noticed Dave staring at me. He's probably wondering "What in the world?" HA, the dramas of the invisible are still my problem!

Some recent Kidisms...
Keeping in mind Zech is 4, Lily is 2 (going on 13)

Zech: He picks up the Cheez it box and asks me what they are (we don't normally get them, but they were on sale). I say "Those are Cheez its" Zech replies, "Oh, I didn't know they could put Jesus in a box". We now know how they get their cheesiness... Jesus can do all things! hehe!

Lily: Her new pants were sagging big time. I had asked her to pull her shirt up so I could see if they were sagging in the front, she didn't understand so I rephrased and said "Let me see your belly". She raises her shirt up and I see what I want and say "yep, they are falling off." She shrieks in horror "My BELLY IS FALLING OFF?! MY BELLY IS FALLING OFF?!"

Lily: After making some homemade bread with her mommy says "This bread is Crackilackin!" (From Madegascar)

Zech: He is giving me the synopsis of Wall E (as if I haven't seen it 8 million times). He says "Beware, NO Robots". I say, "ya know, I think they said Rogue Robots" He looks at me like I am a complete idiot and says "Why would they say Rogue? That is not even a word!" I have since tried to explain to him what Rogue means, he hasn't given in!

THERE ARE SO MANY MORE! If only I had hours to sit and write them... I remember them though, and will be making a book soon! hehe!