2009 in Review
Wow, what a year! I understand I have one more day left in the year, but who knows what tomorrow will bring, I figured I'd finish the year out now!!! As in 5:17am on Dec. 30th! I start my days early now... really early! Just like it did with Lily, sleep doesn't come easily for me this pregnancy. But I have come to enjoy the early (EARLY...sometimes 2 or 3am) times of quietness.
Ruby is scheduled to arrive on January 4th. And although her actual birthday will fall in 2010, I have to say the theme to 2009 for me is RUBY! Its been quite the ride for me, and it has all kinda revolved around getting Ruby.
Starting the year off, Dave and I had made no real resolutions (other than the normal, lose weight... which we purchased a bike and wii fit to aid us!) but we had made a mutual decision that we wanted a baby in 2009. And right away, realized we were pregnant. I will never forget taking that test at midnight (maybe it was 10:30) and laughing with such delight! I was SO excited! October was going to bring us a new baby! For two months all I thought about was this baby that was coming. I enjoyed the idea of being pregnant even though a majority of the time (just like with the first two pregnancies) I did not feel pregnant. Then I remember in March telling Dave I had a bad feeling and could I really call the dr based on a bad feeling? However, that bad feeling was my body telling me that the baby wasn't ganna make it. And we found out by the end of March that the baby had passed a few weeks earlier. I faced a decision then. I could mourn and blame, and protest, and throw a fit... or I could CHOOSE to trust in God. choose to believe that HE was in charge of this life I was given (and the life of the baby) and if I was going to say I lived for Him, I needed to do so in the midst of my heartache. And although it was a very tough time for me, I learned something VERY useful and wonderful that will always stay with me. God is a graceful god. A God that WANTS whats best for me, even if that means he has to allow a bit of pain to my current situation. He desires whats best... and for whatever reason that baby (who I named Julianne Rose) was not the best for us, and I have to trust Him andbe okay with that!
Shortly... VERY shortly after, I realized I was pregnant again. And this time, I'd had a great time with God before finding out and was confident that God would allow me to hold this baby. My connection was SO strong from the very beginning. Not that it hasn't been with the other kids, but it is VERY different. Its like I'd speak to her in my mind, and she'd respond... I know seems strange. But I asked for morning sickness... how odd is that! And She gave it to me! hehe. If I hadn't felt her move in a bit I'd just have to sit back and kinda telepathically tell her to move...and boom, she'd give me a good kick in the ribs. And although I know those things come from God, I believe he is creating a bond between us through these little quirky things.
The year has gone by VERY slowly... yet kinda quickly as well. My kids are growing so fast, and going through two first trimesters (with the last one pretty hard on me) and a non energetic 2nd trimester, and now a VERY painful 3rd trimester, I have to say that 2009 hasn't been the BEST year for anyone in this house. Dave's had frustrations from work that he's never faced before. The kids are getting older, picking up on the stress, and figuring out how to cope with it as well.
But there is so much to be greatful for within their lives as well. I feel like 2009 was a year of learning and growing for them. They both have bloosomed in homeschool, and are growing up to be very fun and smart kids. I know they are only 3 &4 years old... but a momma knows!
So back to my THEME... Ruby... not just a name, but what she represents. When times were rough, and honestly there were lots of rough times, emotionally, stressfully, physically... There was a jewel growing within me... not just in my belly, but in my heart. God really began to design a gem in my heart. Allowing me to persevere, and see His works even in the midst of trials, frustrations, and even heartbreak. And Grace. whew! What a year of grace! He saw my pain, greived with me, and comforted me in a way that no one else could ever do. He reminded me that His grace is sufficient for me! That He is ALL I need! So, Ruby Grace will bring in the new year for us, and I can't wait to see all the things that come along with her, and the new year.
Zech and Lily are SO excited to meet her. I can't wait to hold her, smell her, kiss her, thank her!
But even outside the realm of motherhood, I believe 2010 will bring about some changes that Dave and I will be very excited about. And I look forward to every moment... and I mean EVERY moment. I don't want to miss a thing, God!

23days???
Am I reading my little ticker right? 23 days... when I should be scheduled for 7 days earlier than that... that means SIXTEEN DAYS!!! Oh, my, with Christmas and new years nestled in those 16 (SIXTEEN) days I think Ruby will be here before I know it! I can not wait! The back pain and leg pain, and hip pain, and contraction pain hasn't gotten any better, however, I am handling it! I know that God knows this baby girl's birthday and I trust it will be the right one.
Soon and very soon! I can't wait to meet her!!!