A Queer

There are many words a young boy can pick up being the youth pastor's son. There are the normal words like "Suck" and "Stupid" that I expected I'd have to deal with. And I am quick to correct any youth who attempt to use the real 4 letter words. But I never expected to hear my 2 year old exclaim, "Look, Mommy, its a queer!" Uh, What? Tell me again? "A Queer!" He was very proud of his discovery of a real live "queer". I racked my brain wondering where he would have heard a word like that. I KNOW we don't say it... (I am aware that "Suck" and "Stupid" do accidently come out of our mouths)... but Queer? I know better. Not to mention, where is he seeing one? So finally his diaper is changed he stands to his feet and points to the celing...
Yes, I laid down to take the picture, so you could see what he saw...


Guess what? Its a QUEER!!! I mean Square! What a genius! I am taking credit and am not allowing Mickey Mouse, or little Einstiens... I let Zech play with a magnadoodle in Wal-mart the other day as we shopped. And I drew shapes as he called out what they were. So, I taught him that! he he! A proud moment (after realizing your son doesn't see invisible queers!)!

I am learning...
I got my camera home last night and did as much reading as my little mind could comprehend, and decided playing around with it today would be the best bet. I had to stop for my children's eye sight's sake! But wanted to posts some shots from our day.
We visited Sierra today. The older boys really hit it off and played very well together. Isaiah wasn't sure about sharing his many bikes, but once Zech picked a less special one, they were instant buddies. Noah is a spitting image of his daddy, so I tried to capture as many shots of him as I could!

So here goes...
Here is Isaiah in his COOL glasses

And beautiful Noah


They aren't too hard to make a picture look good. So I tried my action mode to see what I could do... here is the scene... two boys rough housing with some stuffed dog. Zech gets his and throws it...





And last but NEVER least... are my gorgeous babies!


Again, I am SO blessed with this gift! The Camera is so fun!!! I can't wait until its nice out again!!!

OH MY GOODNESS!!!

So I go to what I think is going to be a normal dinner at my in-laws. And at first it was... then BAM, they hand me this bag with a WONDERFUL Canon Rebel in it! (thats a camera... if anyone is like me and knows very little about them!)
I don't know if I want to poop my pants, pee all over the place, or vomit. It made me so nervous... not just the fact that I have this elaborate most wonderful gift (tangible gift that is) in my hands (one I truly do not deserve!) but that I know that means I am taking Rachel's wedding photos. I think I can do it... Imean the card can hold 600 shots, I am sure 100 will turn out. But, it is a very huge responsibility (and honor) and I just feel like crying when I really think about it. I have a lot of research and practicing to do before then! So, my poor little babies, the perfect subjects for practicing. I am sure the thing (well, its much too nice to call it a thing)... Camera... will be planted around my neck for at least 6 months so I can figure it out! I have A LOT to learn... Library, here we come... websites, be prepared! Oh, man, I have the vomiting urge again... I am SO nervous!!! Thanks Rachel's wedding budget (well, Mom and Dad that is!)
Hopefully picures will be posted soon!

Miss Chris

Miss Chris passed away a week ago. And since we've not seen her in a year and some months, its hard for it to really sink in that we will NEVER see her again.

Miss Chris was the very first person we told that we were pregnant with Zech (sorry family!). We had decided not to tell anyone until we'd told our families but Miss Chris had been pretty sick and was not having a good morning. Dave was one of her favorites and always called him the son she never had. She babied him bit too much if you ask me! But She was weary that day and so Dave went into her office and shut the door, whispered in her ear that we were finally pregnant. Somthing she had prayed for just as much as we had. She broke down in such joyous tears. Then picked her fragile body up and made her way downstairs to congratulate me.

She rubbed my belly often and prayed over Zech from that moment on. When he was born, she turned into an instant granny for him away from his own grandmas. She rocked him, sang to him, prayed over him. He was always so serene by her. I remember when dave was at camp and Zech was 4 months old, I went to the church to work on some DVDs and Zech was unbareable. Miss Chris took him for walks up and down the hallways until he lay limp in her arms sleeping cozy by his Miss Chris.

She had cancer for a while. It wasn't getting much better. And she suffered. So sad that she's in heaven dancing with her groom... I am not! But I am grieved that she never got to see Zech's cute expressions when he would have said "Uh, Hiya, Miss Chris!" I am sad that he never got her hugs again or the candy from her kids' stash! I am overwhelmed by the thought that Lily will never know her joy. And that Miss Chris will not have the impact on my children like she did on so many others. However, I will always remind my baby boy of her granny in St. Louis who loved him so dear! And we are blessed knowing Miss Chris no longer has cancer, she got better, WAY BETTER, and she is no longer suffering! Thank You, Jesus for healing her!

77 Degrees!!!

It was such a wonderful day out today! I just wanted to post some pictures of the kids having fun outdoors... even Lily (who has finally learned to breathe outdoors!)
Here is the wagon Zech got a year and a half ago for Christmas, but we had no way to get it to California... see the difference??? Wow!!!
He isn't walking yet here, he was using the wagon as a push toy... and almost falling down!!

And now... he can pull it, push it, run with it, and climb in and out of it!


Here are the two of them... Lily really is having fun, she just doesn't know how to express it that much!

The wagon was given to us by Dave's Papa... it was his as a kid... so its very special, and we are so glad to finally have it residing at OUR house!!! Yipee!!!

And there's my Lily... who loves to stand. I wonder if she'll start standing before she sits, since when I try to have her "practice" sitting she makes sure to stand!
She's tiny!!!

The Perfect Day

I had such a perfect day... Well almost! My babies have been sick for awhile. Zech getting a sinus infection, Lily having RSV, has taken its toll on me! Dave has been so swamped at work, that I can barely bare to ask him for much more help at home because I want to let him rest a little. I thought I was getting sick there for a while. But today! It was a good day. I decided when I got up this morning that staying in the house was a bad idea. Lily had me up 6 times last night... not really sure why, but I counted all six! And I was exhausted when they got up at 7 (which is NOT a bad time.) So I laid down on the couch promising myself I'd get up after this cartoon... well, maybe one more cartoon, then I will get up. So finally at 8:45, I pick up the phone and call my sister-in-law who... lets just say "had the day off". "Wanna go to the mall with us?" I was SO happy when she didn't even hesitate and agreed to meet us at 10. Even though I was not ready at ten, or even eleven for that matter, we went to the mall. I got Zech the cutest easter outfit (WITH A HAT) I am SO excited. And Zech got to play at the kids place... and was very polite and very social. He made his mommy proud. So he got some treats from the toy store, and some jelly beans from Old Navy, and he remained good! Lily napped, and ate some, and we left with Ice Cream! It was a beautiful day! I truely had a blast! Even when we sat in traffic for an hour and a half (when I wanted to take a different route! He he... in case Rachel reads). It makes me realize just how wonderful I have it! My kids are so cute (we had a conversation about how most kids are "cute" but my kids are a different kind of cute... they are GORGEOUS!!!). They are well behaved, even tempered (for the most part) and easy going. My sister in law likes me enough to be friends with me and spend her day with a scatter brained mommy and 2 gorgeous kids! And I have a husband that rushed home to see us (even though we were late because of the route we took to get home RACHEL!!!)(just kidding, btw). I put my kids to bed, they stayed in bed (lily might sleep all night... she had cereal tonight... thick cereal... LOVED IT... cried when I wasnt fast enough!) I cleaned the house... including the toilets... but then Dave got called to work. He'll have to work overnight. Hense the reason I am on at 12:30am... I can't sleep. i want my Davey! I feel like I've put unnessasary pressure on him and made him feel pulled between a demanding job and a demanding wife. I woke up this morning praying that God will keep me in my place. My place to encourage him and love him, and know that we will be together forever and that a few extra hours at work will not hurt us. So, even though my night didn't end as perfect as it had been the multiple hours before, I am so glad God answered my prayers and helped me be more supportive and loving as my dear husband left frustrated at his job. We looked forward to putting the kids to bed early and having some alone time. We needed it. But, we've built a strong marriage... it won't break over one night! Sometimes parenthood can take a lot... but today it was a giving day!

I am not that negative

I wanted to try out this bew foint!
That says, "I wanted to try out this new font!" It looks cute to me!
But hard to really understand!

I just reread my last post about having to change my shirt. And I wanted to record that I am not that negative. Sure I don't want my kids to be sick, and I am VERY tired! But, I am blessed to have more than 3 shirts to change into! And I am blessed that ALL my kids have is a sinus infection and maybe RSV. That their illnesses are ones that will get better. I love that I didn't have to call into work these past three days or have to take my kids to a sitter sick. I am a very blessed woman, even if I came across as complaining before. I guess I had a moment of conviction, and would never want to come across as being ungrateful for the marvelous blessings I have. I mean really, I have a husband that would actually like to see the wet t-shirt... and I know that... so I must be doing something right, right?
Anyway, wanted to clear that up and make sure that everyone knows that I am VERY happy with life... even when life brings buckets of snot!

Will it ever end???

As I sit down to finally have some time where my arms are not holding someone, I notice my day may not be a great day after all. I've already changed my shirt twice, just to see that this current shirt has chocolate cookie all over it.
My first shirt was covered in Lily snot. She can't help it, I can't help it. I've wiped, I've suctioned, I've cleaned off with a warm towel... its just on the run! So I change.
My second shirt got completely drenched by the kids bath. Lily still doesn't like the bath... Zech likes it too much. He likes to pour water on the ledge ( I guess he doesn't realize that it will eventually fall to the ground) so as I lean over to wash Lily (screaming lily... producing more snot as she cries) I get completely drenched. I try to smile as I think of how my husband wouldn't mind the wet white shirt, but quickly get back to the bath tub mind!
I get Lily out, quickly get her warm in a cute outfit (maybe it will make her feel better). I try to put her down to get yet another shirt. Then I try to rock my sick baby to sleep. She sounds as if shes sleeping constantly as she snores even when she is awake. Sleep is not coming. So I put her down to clean Zech (making sure to clean up the water to save my shirt)... he's not too happy... and Lily has taken cue and decided she's not happy either. I have to let them cry!
Zech gets dressed, Lily gets rocked (along with Zech, who has decided Lily has had momma for too long, its his turn now!) She's finally asleep. I think "Wow, I can get online" But Zech wants to be held. I bribe him with devil's food cookies and he quickly follows me down stairs. I start looking at my email when I notice that every cookie in the just opened container has had a snotty bite taken out of it. I really wanted those cookies too! I put the cookies away, there's no need for him to eat them all... and it causes a melt down. His intentions were to keep me from eating any, i am sure and to secure them all for himself (12 cookies!!!)He's checking to make sure he won't gain too much from all those cookies...
He wants consoled, I pick him up, and now I need a new shirt! I probably don't even have another one!

You are probably wondering why I get all bent out of shape about a shirt! Well, I have two sick kids. One with a sinus infection, and another with a possible case of RSV. One is gettin over his, so unfortunately Lily started getting sick when Mamma was already tired from caring for Zech. Lily can't sleep laying down flat, but still feels she must be on her belly. So I've had 3 nights of sleeping sitting up with a snoring little girl that can't seem to get comfortableand is just so full of snot we could try to market it!. She's on the verge of dehydration from not eating,
She doesn't look too sick does she? I tried spoon feeding her some liquid. So, although changing shirts isn't normally a blog worthy topic... today it just seems bigger than normal. Little sleep makes big problems... now, the problem... getting a new shirt... God will provide, right?

Is Spring Coming???

The snow is melted... It really stinks... not that the snow has melted, it just litterally stinks. I don't know if its the smell of tons of water on the lawns, or if since its warmer I can smell all the farms. The area looks so drab... no color, but the sun is shining. And its VERY warm (compared to last weekend). So i had to get the kids out of the house. They are both sick now and I feel like I can smell the snot everywhere! I couldn't stand it! Its play group day, my day to meet with other moms and see if they are yet supermoms, but with 2 snotty kids, and with respect for the other mommies, we didn't go. So instead we went to the outlet mall. Its outdoors. So we walked a lot outdoors. I loved it. I loved looking at all the shorts and pastel easter colors. I wanted to buy it all (and did buy probably too much). It makes me excited to think of all the things we can do in the spring. I started thinking of our vacation and all the things we can do when it comes. I just can't wait. Its a good thing! It gave me energy to get the house clean and disinfected. I know I wrote about that very thing yesterday. But it didn't get done. Didn't you read that I have two sick kids... get off my back! he he! But today, the windows are open the place is airing out, and I am feeling good... But still have things to do... must get to them... SPRING IS COMING!!!

GET STUFF DONE!!!

I must get stuff done. Why am I on here? Just a quick boost knowing I will not have time once I start my mission. The mission: HOUSE TOP TO BOTTOM. I kinda want to get it cleaned and disinfected, but its always my goal, that never gets accomplished, so a bad mood arises. Zech is sick still. Wants to cuddle a lot, so I must take advantage of that and not get frustrated that the sleeping bag the cousins slept on LAST weekend is still laying in Lily's room. The baby loves mamma to entertain. Something that may pass in the next five years, so I must soak it up instead of getting antsy about the bedsheets getting changed.
If I work fast and do as much as I can, thats good enough for now, right. The house will always have messes to clean up (something I am not happy about!)... but my kids will only be small for a short time (another thing I am NOT happy about!)
Well, I am wasting time! I should start my wonderful disinfection of the world around me! It will make me happy in the long run! Good and better day to all of you!

A Good Nights Rest

Its been a week now that Lily has finally slept through the night. She goes down at 7:30ish and wakes at 10:30 for a feeding, but then can last until 6:30 or even 7:30 like she did the day before. I am a new person! I have made it through the day without napping, gotten everything done, spend really great learning time with Zech, been in a great mood! Its crazy what sleep can do for you! Now last night she didn't wake up wanting to eat, but couldn't figure out how to roll herself back over to go back to sleep. She rolled about 5 times needing momma's assistance. No big deal right? She's mastering a new skill, but boy, am I tired and its 11 and I have got nothing done so far! Sleep is the key!
Its been 3 months (even longer if I count the uncomfortable pregnancy nights) since I've gotten to sleep all night through. Its amazing... I am refreshed (for the most part). I have underestimated the good nights rest! Thank you God for giving it back to me!

No Need for Dr. Phil!


I DVR Dr. Phil and I've noticed a huge trend. He has some pretty messed up people on his show! And I thought about how I would never get on his show. Not that it bothers me much, he disappoints me quite often with his watered down baptist faith. However, if I look at my life and even accentuate the negative... I am proud to say I will still never make it on the Dr. Phil show!

• I get angry when my precious baby wakes me in the middle of the night (JUST TO GET THE PACIFIER BACK!). I sometimes even shout from the kitchen SHUT UP!
• I don't always get in the shower, put on clean clothes, brush my teeth, and straighten the house until minutes before my husband gets home.
• I don't always stay on top of the laundry, and we end up fetching our clothes from the dryer instead of the dresser drawers.
• I sometimes yell at my children, and even get short with my husband.
• I forget to make important phone calls.
• I eat too much during the day (and at night)
• I will forget to change the kids diapers until they have exploded.
• I am over weight
• I don't always pick up the phone when it rings, even when its beloved family members.
• My room is messy sometimes.
• There are days I forget to read stories to my children.
• I often neglect my husband...

But I am proud to say: I WILL NEVER MAKE IT ON THE DR. PHIL SHOW!

• No matter how angry I get at having to get up, I always pray over her as I rock her, and ask forgiveness for telling a 3 month old to shut up!
• My husband loves me even when I stink!
• I do get the laundry washed and dryed (most of the time!)
• I show much love to my children MANY times a day, and I always give my husband a kiss good-bye and good-night
• I talk to my sister every day!
• I buy healthy snacks
• There are many days when I have a perfect schedule and every diaper gets changed in a timely manner
• I am on a healthy diet (right now at least)
• I always call family when I've missed them
• I am a good housekeeper (for the most part)
• We end each day with our kids with devotions and prayer. Zech can even pray!
• I actively think of ways to better love my husband.
• I am in love with my Lord and Savior!

And if that can't get me on Dr. Phil, I don't want even try! His show can keep their freaks!

He's TWO!!!


Two years ago today, at this time (10:30 pm) I was staring down at this new baby born just that day to me! I remember asking God to help me be a good mom, to show me the correct way to handle those sticky situations, to love him even when I am mad, and even when he is bad. I remember thinking that he wouldn't stay little forever so I needed to remember every move he made and every cute little smirk on his face. I remember fearing that I'd forget what he looked like if I let the nurses take him to the nursery.
Now, he's two!
He is very nurturing, yet wants to have his space. One minute he can be screaming at another kid for standing in his "area" and the next moment he's running to his sister asking "Whats that matter?" as she cries. He is very energetic. Loves to run circles around the house. He goes from one activity to another and yet he still loves structure. He likes if I can keep him on a schedule and if we vear away, he will definately let me know. I would say he's a strong willed child. And I praise God that there are certain things that are actually working when it comes to discipline. I just know that this strong willed trait will some day be a huge blessing to his life.
He has begun to really talk, repeating most of what we say... which is not always a good thing, unfortunately. He told me this morning, "Happy birthday to me?" So I had to sing the song to him again. Something I will do everyday if I get to see that wonderful smile! And then he tries to sing it back. He is just just a spectacular boy.
Now as we enter the TERRIBLE TWOS, I find myself with somewhat the same prayers as when he was born. I ask God to continue to give me godly wisdom to be a good mom, to show me the correct ways to discipline, that he will see my love even when I am mad, and know he is loved even when he is bad. I look at him and see him growing so fast and pray I can capture every cute saying and every new adventure a 2 year old goes through. I no longer fear that I won't recognize this gorgerous little baby, for now he is such a unique boy.

Baby Dedication

My baby Lily was dedicated at church today! She was such a ham! She wanted to be facing outward, then she wanted to lean forward and move her arms all around to say hi to everyone. I think she just might be a preformer someday! As her Opa prayed over her she grinned ear to ear at him, melting his heart. He could barely go on! She is such a precious little baby!
I dedicate her to the Lord since He is the reason I have her. I am humbled at the responsibility to get to raise her and have the pleasure to see her grow to love the lord like He intended. I have faith she will cling to Him. Oma sang a song at the dedication that I have been singing over her from the very beginning...


Hold To Jesus By Erin O'Donnell

Your a little piece of heaven, your a golden ray of light. And I wish I could protect you from the worries of this life. But if there's one thing I could tell you, its no matter what you do, hold to Jesus, he's holding on to you.

The world will try to tell you that night is warm and bright. That beauty's on the outside, and being good's a losing fight. But remember what I've told you, because the world will make you choose, hold to Jesus He's holding on to you.

Hold on to Jesus, cling to his love. Rest deep in His mercy whenever things get rough. Don't lose sight of his goodness and don't ever doubt this truth, that when you hold on to Jesus, he's holding on to you!

Hear me Dear Jesus, rock this little one to sleep. Keep her close when she's scared, and give her grace when she is weak. I know she'll stumble, but I know she'll make it through if you hold on to her just like you said you'd do. Hold her Jesus and she'll hold on tight to you.

If I could add to this song I would add all the prayers I've prayed for her already. Prayers that ask Jesus to be the one she can confide in. I'd add how I know that there comes a time in a daughters life when "Mamma" isn't the first person she wants to talk to. And that's okay with me as long as Jesus is that person! I would add my hopes that she would have a huge reputation. Not as the world gives them, but one that says God is always first in her life. I'd add a line that expresses my biggest fear that she will pick meaningless love over the eternal one God gives. Yet I'd quickly follow the line up with my surrender to God as he is the one much wiser than I am that can help me raise this beautiful daughter. I'd end the song with my thankfulness and gratitude that God has given me such a wonderful little girl, no matter how grown up she gets.
So, my Lily Girl! There's no way my lines would sound quite as good... just Hold on to Jesus and he will do the rest!