A Week of Random Thoughts

So it feels like its just been a crazy week... So let me go back to last Saturday... there were things I wanted to share. These things will all seem so random... but bear with me!
I struggled with Easter this year. I had to repent and ask God to forgive my TOTAL selfishness! I had planned this Easter Egg Hunt outreach since we moved here. I was so excited because I just LOVE outreach. I prayed regularly and really plotted it out to the best of my abililies. I would go back and forth on being nervous that no kids would show up to being nervous that too many would come. Then it got cold. I knew the turn out would be smaller, but still prayed for just 36, something I thought was pretty reasonable! I mean, who doesn't like an easter egg hunt? Well, I guess the town of Union Grove! No one that doesn't normally come to our church came. So, the "outreach" was a flop. I really wanted to cry. But kept thanking God I could share the story of Easter (The EMPTY TOMB!!!) to the few that were there!


I tried to put my sadness behind me. It was time to break out the Paas egg dye and color us some easter eggs. I was SO excited. Zech's first time! I wanted him to share in the experience with me as much as possible. So he sat on the table as I poured the great smelling vinegar into the cups. Then I let him drop the tablets in. He put them all in one cup. I had to quickly fish them out or we'd have dark brown eggs! I made Dave come watch. I think he secretly thought it was a stupid idea until he saw how much fun Zech had.


That night I worked so hard planning my Easter Dinner. My mom always prepared the ham and the potatos and fruit salad. It had been a long time, so I decided it was time this MOMMA tried it! But to add to it, I made a bunny cake (my new fun project; decorating cakes)... I hated the nose!

The first of many food lessons of the weekend. I realized that not only had I been so excited about the outreach, I was actually looking forward to hosting the Easter meal. I love them both so much. Outreach and hosting. I guess thats God-given to a Pastor's wife! but my meal didn't go like I had planned in my head. I messed up the fruit salad, the potatos were watery, the ham a bit overcooked, and I couldn't keep the mess down (something that stresses me out). I don't know if the entire experience was overshadowed by my complete sadness that no one was at kids church on Easter Sunday! Again, I was well prepared, the lesson was fun and educational. And no one! Zech got a prize for being there and saying his memory verse. "He is not here, He has risen just like he said he would." Matthew 28:6
And to make things better I didn't get my afternoon nap... But I did watch a new "favorite movie"... but ya know, Easter isn't about resurrection eggs and Bunny cakes and ham and potatoes (or if you know how to spell them) Its all about the fact that I have a Savior who came to this Earth just so He could die for all MY sins! And as Zech says "The Egg is Empty!!!" There is no body left in that tomb! He is alive, and I serve this God who is alive. One that has gone through the same (well, WORSE) ministry experiences. I didn't do it for the result, I do it out of obedience! I had to repent. I had lost the meaning. I made it about MY disappointments! and not about His accomplishment!

So since it took me so long to learn that simple lesson, I realized I was weak. Lily had a bad week prior to all this, she didn't sleep, and I was up with her most of the time. Then out of frustration Dave declares he doesnt want more kids (DEVASTATING NEWS FOR ME!). I told him that we'd discuss it once we had sleep. But it made me a nervous wreck all week. If she wimpered, I jumped to stop her. If there was anything unpleasant about her (which are few and far between) I hid it from him in fear of never having another gorgeous Ciske baby! And by the end of the week I was DEAD! I hadn't made time to sit down with my Bible. I hadn't slept-- A deadly combination! I needed food! I needed strength. Beth Moore! the study started this morning! What a powerful speaker! It was very good right off the bat! (I will blog about that later!) But now, with more sleep this week, and some better perspective (and knowing that Dave was just speaking out of frustration) I feel lighter! I feel free-er! And I praise my Living God for this life! And for these amazing blessings!

Lily is really blooming! she's laughing, talking, raspberry-ing, and just as cute as she can be!

Zech is the best big brother! I am so very proud of him! He loves and takes care of his sister! The other day, I was getting laundry and Lily started crying. Oh, well, Laundry needs to be done. But Zech rushed to her side and calmed her. then as he tried to join me downstairs, he'd get as far as the middle of the staircase and she'd start crying, so he'd turn around and rush to check on her. He's just amazing! No more kids??? He has to be on crack!!!