Julianne Rose
I usually have my ears open for just the right name. I even think about it when I am not pregnant. And since having Lily, I have thought of girls names more frequently. Lilian Jewel was the best name in the world at the time, and it meant so much to me. So to come up with another girl name was agonizing for me (as you may have read in earlier posts). However, when I found out I was pregnant I literally could not sleep as I had to come up with the perfect name. Dave was convinced that it was a boy so he would say "Name her whatever you want" then roll over and fall asleep. I'd be awake, then wake up only hours later with it still on my mind.
At one point in that short lived pregnancy I tried to stop obsessing over it. I thought "I have a long time before I have to come up with a definate name... I must stop" But I just couldn't! I just HAD to come up with something great.
I announced to Dave that her name was Julianne Rose. And I told him I would not be changing my mind! Then I could sleep!
So today I had a drs appointment. The pathology results were back on the baby. He told me that they had labeled it "product of conception" meaning it was something to do with Chromosomes of some sort. They don't go into much more detail because there is just so much to investigate. The good news of this is that there is nothing wrong with the womb that would indicate complications in further pregnancies. My baby just couldn't sustain life for whatever reason. And the report indicated that it was a girl. So I immediately began crying. It was easier thinking it was just a baby, but now to know it was my daughter makes it a bit more "personal" as if it wasn't already... I hope you understand the lack of words I have to express it. However, all the obsessing seemed to make sense to me. I am so happy that I had a name for her. And if it isn't already a precious name, it means youthful. And It dawned on me how fitting that name is. Julianne will never grow old. She will never have wrinkles from worry, she will never experience pain from her evergrowing bones, she will never experience the horrors of this world... she will forever stay young with her God. And I can't imagine anything better for my baby girl! Julianne, have fun with Jesus, we'll see you someday!