Just when I think I may have an inkling of understanding...

I just recently finished the book The Shack by William Young. I THOROUGHLY enjoyed it and look forward to a time that I will read it again and again. For the time being, I am still trying to wrap by brain around it all. It is a easy read time wise, but I spent a couple of days just re-reading some of the truths within in. This man has an incredible (and very personal) encounter with God and some of the things that is revealed to him during his time with Him shattered my preconcieved ideas (and I even got Dave to look at some hard core "belief's " he's held on to for so long). One of the central themes I took away from the book is the indepth concept of it is not about me! I've always said that, but its SO true. The religions we establish, the relationships, the laws we abide by, the truths we hold so dear are all about ME (well, you in your case!). God really spoke to me the other day when I was running late for MOPS. I hate being late. I hate when other people are late so I feel I should always practice time management and get places on time. I am stressing out on my way there and I stop myself realizing that the traffic will only go so fast, and my car should only go the speed limit so why am I so stressed. I began to pray. I felt like God asked the question "Why do you have to be on time to a Moms group?" And of course I gave him the most honest answer "I don't want to be late!!!" God presses for my real answer, "WHY?" "I want to be a good person!" And although I don't think this conversation was AT all about being late... it was about my reasons for why I wanted to be on time... I want to be a good person. Isn't that all about YOU? If its important to be timely shouldn't it be to glorify God? Although I believe God wants us to be on time, its to point to Him. This reoccuring theme has been coming up in prayer time, in my everyday activities, in my devotions... Its not about me. I feel I have had this on my mind when making decisions and have felt it coming easier for me... not EASY, just easier... Then on something happened this week that was my "test" and I am not sure I can really allow myself to think about it enough to digest it. Its a bit too personal to let ANY reader read, so I will be vague. I've been praying for some things lately and am learning to wait up on God for them. I've done this before and I thought I'd be fine waiting. Then some other news came making me long for my prayer even more. I broke, I wanted to start questioning God if he'd ever answer. But then realized I don't see the big picture. I don't see the WHYs behind how God does things. And I stopped thinking about how this world doesn't revolve around ME! This is a hard concept! And I am really trying. We humans are just so limited! WE allow our vision to be limited and our actions to be limited. I just can't imagine all the things God could accomplish through us if we'd just stop putting ourselves, our wants, our "image" before God... isnt there a commandment about that?