I am stewing...

Sometimes I let my heart get away from me. I am great at remembering in my mind all that I've learned (well, most of it) And I can rationalize many things, and remind myself of the TRUTH, but today, I think my heart has some catching up to do.

I have never regretted moving here, and will never. I am so very thankful to be around family and to have met such wonderful friends, and have a town that is so kid friendly to raise my family in. I am so blessed. However, we are a ministry family. And ministry is hard. With Children's Ministry I can blame their parents. I can be frustrated that the parents are not looking at what is best for their children and they are keeping them from coming to any and all events I plan even if its against the best wishes of the child. I can understand the child's unbelief, their constant questions, and their inability to listen to long passages of scripture. However, tonight I found myself convincing my heart what my mind knows and has encouraged Dave with. My heart is tired. I am tired of listening to the sinful escapades these teens brag about. I am tired of hearing "Well, I am not going to believe in that, I don't like what the Word says about that" Do they really think that by not believing, or not liking it that it just doesn't apply to them? And the answer is YES! They actually do. They believe that they get to make up their beliefs, that if you can't see demons, they must not exist. They believe they can take what they want from the Bible and spit the rest in Jesus' face.
I remember once in our ministry grieving over their sin, and their disbelief. I remember pouring my heart out to God begging that they grasp the life He had for them so they could partake in His glorious blessings. Tonight, I was mad. I was so frustrated. I yelled at (well, in a very professional, nicer tone than it sounds) one of the girls. She states how she hates everyone at her school because they are all haters (sounds pretty thought out huh?) And that she was going to start a White Supremacy group (she didn't say supremacy, but that's what she meant... again, not well thought out). I stopped her and asked, "Are you a Christain?" (this girl claims that she grew up in church her entire life, complains about it being pushed down her throat, not realizing she's in our family and that Dave knows how she grew up... again, not thinking!) I reminded her that you can't serve hatred and love. Either you Love God and all the things that come with it (righteousness) or you decide that you are not a christian and stop claiming to be one.
So, instead of joining the bogus discussions (that go on in between the godly points Dave tries to make) I sat on the couch and tried not to chime in (they were in the kitchen).
I hear statement/questions like
"If I date a non-Christian isn't it his sin, not mine?"
"God can't expect (get this... she's telling God what he CAN and CAN'T DO!!!)... God can't expect us to be able to control our thoughts"
"I won't believe in demons unless one stands in front of me" (OH, Be careful!)
"I can't tell someone that they should believe in Jesus, its their choice"
And here's my favorite (NOT REALLY)...
"Since you can't be a Christian and be racist, I guess I am just prejudice"
ARE YOU KIDDING ME! Like I said, as I rant and rave here... I will get to better things, just bear with me... I was tired.
none of these things were ever remotely related to the actual planned topic of discussion for the night, and nothing really was able to be answered since as soon as Dave would begin to speak, they would interrupt with yet another idiotic question.
So, I revealed to Dave what God already knows. My heart needs passion for them again. I need to grieve their sin again. I need to realize we made a commitment not just to the pastor and board of this church, we committed to wherever God would send us, we'd do HIS work. We are called to "Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction." (2 Timothy 4:2). That is where my responsibility starts and stops. We preach the Word, the truth of God (whether they like it, or believe it or not). We prepare at all times reading God's word, praying God's will, then we correct (whether they take it or not), rebuke (even if it ticks em off), and encourage, with great patience and careful instruction. Which is where my heart needs to come back. The rest is up to them.
I need to see their situation and turn my frustration into urgent pray. Praying that they can find true love in Jesus Christ. Focusing on Him first and foremost, allowing all other things to fall into place (including that CHRISTIAN guy to date.) Praying that they will control their thoughts in righteous obedience resulting in a habit of taking every thought captive. Praying that regardless if they believe in demons or are wondering, that they be prepared with the knowledge of their word to combat any attack that comes their way. Praying that they will speak boldly the Word of God bring others to a place where they can hear God's voice and prompting to join in His family. And praying that with their genuine love for Christ, they will in turn love those around them regardless of color, sex, or age.
I tucked my babies in bed tonight with an urgent prayer that they realize God's mighty plan for their lives (Mighty as in that perfect will God has for each of us). And that they run towards righteousness. Hating what is evil, clinging to what is good. God is Good!!!