Who Do I want to be?
I had a conversation the other day with a lady at MOPS and something came out of my mouth that I had never even processed myself before. I asked her "What kind of Mom and Wife do you WANT to be?" I told her to determine the answer to that and then work to BE that kind of mom and wife. I understand that our wants need to be realistic. I mean, I can't decide I want to be someone I am not, I just think if we listed our "ideals" then worked on them, maybe we'd be a better wife/mom by this time next year.
I am an inventory kind a person. I stay on top of things, and my husband can attest to this. I often ask him if he's happy, if I can do something for him, if he's happy with our marriage. I want to catch these things before its past fixing. However my kids can't asess their current situation quite as verbally, so its just one more thing I have to do for them.
Are they healthy? Are they thriving? Are they socially stimulated, emotionally safe, physically physical? And am I the kind of mother that I WANT to be?
Of course, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be better than what you are. Its just importatnt that it gets off your todo list and into your daily actions. I want to be a Mom that is teaching at the teachable moments. A Mom who doesn't have to convince my children that I love them, my actions throughout the day display this to them. I want my kids to feel safe to talk to me, to express themselves and their feelings to me (in a respectable way!!!). And of course there are SO much more... and more superficial like I want to be a fun mom, a creative mom, a happy and approachable mom... so how do I become that? They need to be things I work on daily. I have to have that list visible at all times. I need to practice self-discipline (God-discipline) and bite my tongue, or take time to talk. I need to express to my kids deliberately how much I love them... and WHAT I love about them! I think I have the fun part down... hehe! And if they complain, they are lieing! hehe
Same with my role as wife. I sure hope Dave feels supported and loved, but sometimes he gets the last of what the kids take up. I have to add to my wife list "give more time to your husband!"... and then rewrite it tomorrow and the next day and so forth. The Mom thing comes a bit easier to me, the wife part needs more than just the to do list... The actions are more intentional. Maybe its because I am with my kids 24/7 so I get more practice, and maybe its becuase they are children and are being RAISED, but they get the first of me and sometimes the last and I feel bad that Dave gets left-overs. And unfortunately, he hates left-overs... they just sit in the fridge until they mold... so I need to get that back on my to do list, and back to my original thought process here...
Basically, What I am saying (if you are lost too) is that life is a process... you can't just sit back and let it happen and then wonder why you can't ever be that person you always wanted to be. Live life intentionally. Make a plan and work every day (even if its in baby steps) to be who you want to be... and MAKE SURE you become the person God wants you to be.
So, Lord, What is that?

Just when I think I may have an inkling of understanding...

I just recently finished the book The Shack by William Young. I THOROUGHLY enjoyed it and look forward to a time that I will read it again and again. For the time being, I am still trying to wrap by brain around it all. It is a easy read time wise, but I spent a couple of days just re-reading some of the truths within in. This man has an incredible (and very personal) encounter with God and some of the things that is revealed to him during his time with Him shattered my preconcieved ideas (and I even got Dave to look at some hard core "belief's " he's held on to for so long). One of the central themes I took away from the book is the indepth concept of it is not about me! I've always said that, but its SO true. The religions we establish, the relationships, the laws we abide by, the truths we hold so dear are all about ME (well, you in your case!). God really spoke to me the other day when I was running late for MOPS. I hate being late. I hate when other people are late so I feel I should always practice time management and get places on time. I am stressing out on my way there and I stop myself realizing that the traffic will only go so fast, and my car should only go the speed limit so why am I so stressed. I began to pray. I felt like God asked the question "Why do you have to be on time to a Moms group?" And of course I gave him the most honest answer "I don't want to be late!!!" God presses for my real answer, "WHY?" "I want to be a good person!" And although I don't think this conversation was AT all about being late... it was about my reasons for why I wanted to be on time... I want to be a good person. Isn't that all about YOU? If its important to be timely shouldn't it be to glorify God? Although I believe God wants us to be on time, its to point to Him. This reoccuring theme has been coming up in prayer time, in my everyday activities, in my devotions... Its not about me. I feel I have had this on my mind when making decisions and have felt it coming easier for me... not EASY, just easier... Then on something happened this week that was my "test" and I am not sure I can really allow myself to think about it enough to digest it. Its a bit too personal to let ANY reader read, so I will be vague. I've been praying for some things lately and am learning to wait up on God for them. I've done this before and I thought I'd be fine waiting. Then some other news came making me long for my prayer even more. I broke, I wanted to start questioning God if he'd ever answer. But then realized I don't see the big picture. I don't see the WHYs behind how God does things. And I stopped thinking about how this world doesn't revolve around ME! This is a hard concept! And I am really trying. We humans are just so limited! WE allow our vision to be limited and our actions to be limited. I just can't imagine all the things God could accomplish through us if we'd just stop putting ourselves, our wants, our "image" before God... isnt there a commandment about that?

Where is Jesus?

In Cubbies Zech is sent home with a story and a verse to go over at home. We've added it to our homeschool curriculum. So this week I tell Zech the story of when Mary and Joseph "lose" Jesus.
I tell the story each day in hopes he will be able to tell the story himself by the next day. So I begin the story asking him to fill in the blanks
"Jesus' Mommy and Daddy have lost Jesus! Where is he, Zech?"

Zech replies "He's in the Bathroom!"

Life

A couple of weeks ago my husband and I hosted a small group. We called it young marriages. We are starting to notice a trend among those that get married. Its HARD! And there is little training on the subject. You go through 8+ years to operate on the heart, and nothing (maybe 6 wks premaritial counseling) to be close to someone's heart. And as Dave has been finishing up his Bachelors on the topic (Family Studies) he and I noticed that some people may need help. I don' t know how it came easy for us. I don't know if its our personalities, or that God would someday put marriages on our heart and knew that we could only minster if we had a healthy one. So... as I was saying, a couple of weeks ago we held our first young marriages (those marriages under 10 years old) group. We challenged them to go see Fireproof and then to romance their spouses. With the preparation of this challenge Dave and I began to pray for marriages. And ours got even better. We just happened to have more patience, talk more, notice one another more. So we went to see the movie (amazing ministry tool!) and loved it. We spent a week doing nice things for one another, and putting each other first. Its so fun when you bring it to a new level. We also realized how hard that was, and how impractical it was. Getting Dave chocolate becuase he loves it is romantic, but not substantial. It won't save a marriage. Dave doing the dishes for me makes me feel great, but it doesn't build our marriage closer (although I do LOVE his help!) So we picked up the book "The Love Dare" done in the movie, and decided that it was a better tool than trying to come up with everyday "things" This book is so real.

Day one-- Stay patient, say nothing negative about your spouse or to your spouse. It was easy, we didn't have to choose to say nothing... and it already seems to be making us more aware.

I am not saying we never argue or get mad, or even act a bit selfish in our marriage, but I am saying that even great marriages can get better! and I have always stood tall next to my husband who works with me to have a good marriage!I am blessed and I pray God uses that in us to bless others. It will be 8 years in 3 months. And thats just a drop in the bucket! I want it to be great for the next 80!

So, if you need a boost, no matter if you are living in marital bliss or struggling... get the book

http://thelovedarebook.com/

May I pass out or puke now?

So our plans for today were a bit changed this morning when Zech somehow ran into the corner of the walls (ya know where two walls meet) and put an index finger + size gash in his head. I ran to him and turned him around and about DIED when I saw this huge gash with white glaring through! I panicked for a moment. Called Dave hysterically and told him I didn't think I could do this alone and to meet us at the hospital. Then immediately realized I could do it. I calmed down, got a cold cloth and the diaper bag and we were off.

Each time I looked in the rearview mirror and saw this giant opening in his head I thought I'd die. But we made it! It was about a 12 minute drive to the ER, and a 3 min drive to find a parking spot! (Note to self... next time use valet parking!) This lady sees me holding Zech like a baby and dragging Lily by her arm as we walk to the building. She quickly grabs a wheel chair and puts all three of us in it. They call ahead to the docs to let them know "There is a boy coming with a hole in his head!" (it wasn't really THAT bad).

We get in the room and they put a cotton ball of liticane on it (the cotton ball, the entire thing, fit inside the gash!). Zech stayed pretty calm as he watched some rapping bear on TV. He didn't do too well with the long needle of numbing stuff, and neither did I. I wanted to look in Zech's eyes to make sure he knew I was there for him, so I had to watch this long needle go in as Zech's face swelled with hurt and fear! Then they washed it (they may have washed it first???) and there was more crying. then they covered his head with a cloth that had a whole in it just for the "Laceration". Thats when I realized he couldn't see my face, so I started to bawl! I felt so sick to my stomach! But I quickly realized he needed to hear me. I asked him "Would you rather do the Big Balls or the sucker punch wall?" He calmed down and answered my questions "Big Balls"

"Would you rather do the suckerpunch wall or the Butt Kicker?" "Butt kicker". "Would you like the cookie cutter wall or the Bubble Bath" "Bubble bath". (all things from Wipeout his favorite show... its a crazy obstacle course game show). Then all of a sudden he must have seen the needle/hook the guy was using to stitch him up, he lost it. He was "done" as he said. I had to hold him down and try to calm him.

13 stitches later the guy removed the cloth and all was well in Zech's life. He was over it quickly.

CHEESE, he says!

Here is what I am praising God for:

1. He had no concusion or loss of consciousness
2. He was abnormally calm for such a strong willed child
3. He allowed prayer to calm him. We prayed during a hard time and when we were done he said "In Jesus' name, Amen" and stopped crying.
4. God gave me strength when I didn't know I could do it
5. Lily stayed very calm and behaved well, i didn't have to worry about her at all.
6. It could have happened 3 minutes earlier and i wouldn't have been RIGHT there!

There was a point I thought I wouldn't be able to handle it all, but then there was a point where something welled up and I knew it would be fine, it was okay, could be worse. I kinda feel like vomiting right now, now that he's well, and sleeping. But thats okay, I handled it! lets just not let this happen again!

New rule: NO RUNNING IN THE HOUSE... Why wasn't that in place before???

The Marriage Challenge

Last night we challenged 4 couples to take this Fireproof Challenge. Maybe if you are reading, and married, you, too, can take this challenge on for your marriage!

Frist... Go see the movie FIREPROOF staring Kirk Cameron. For more info on the movie see the plugged in review...
http://www.pluggedinonline.com/movies/movies/a0004166.cfm
Like it says in the review, this movie was not made to win awards from any academy. It was made to save lives! And if many Christians would go see it opening weekend it will show up in the box office and encourage others (maybe even unsaved) to go see the movie... and perhaps they will make enough money with this movie to make a higher budget film next time.

Second... In the movie Kirk Cameron's character takes 40 days to save his marriage. Our challenge was to FIREPROOF your marriage. It may not be on the brink of the end (and again, for some it may), but what are you doing to prevent the bad times? Our challenge is to start on Monday, September 29th and do something that to show that you value your marriage. Treat your spouse, encourage your spouse, love on your spouse... just put in extra effort to show your spouse that you are in this for ETERNITY... Show them that your marrige means a lot to you... do something small, or something large that will romance your spouse. Write it down, and record the difference it makes in your marriage.

For our group, we will share on a bimonthly basis... for you... leave me a comment... how is this affecting your marriage? Or don't... just fireproof your marriage!

Lots of STUFF

We have a lot going on right now! I kinda like it! But sometimes when there is so much, I forget a lot of stuff, so i want to jot some stuff down for me...

1st-- Zech started cubbies. Its an awanas program. Its been hard on me in many ways. First, I am sad that our church doesn't have Royal Rangers. I want to start it, but we don't really have enough kids yet for something on another night. Second, it is really hard for me to take my kid to another church. Dave is a pastor here, and we are driving Zech to a totally different church. I guess thats a pride thing. Like I feel like we should be providing that. But then again, I've tried a Wednesday night and it doesn't work. Third, I am taking Zech and DROPPING him off. He's never really been to a nursery (for a very short time as an infant) but since he's had Mommy and Daddy as his Children's pastors. So Zech goes to school with Mom, has church with Mom, goes to every play group with Mom... it was time to let him do something alone. So I enrolled him in this awanas program. I took him and STAYED the first time, then left the building/campus this last week. It was hard. I stared at the clock the entire time waiting to pick him up. He loves it, wears his cubbie vest, and memorizes scripture like you can't believe. So I know its good for him!

2nd-- Lily is a speedy talker! Its so funny becuase everyone says "Does she talk?" and Dave and I look at each other and laugh... Does she ever! She is a shy girl outside our house, and around others, but at home each day, she says everything and anything. She screamed when we dropped Zech off at cubbies "Mommy, I go to cubbies!" over and over. crying all the while. It was so sad... and confirmed my praises of her vocabulary to my friends. She tells me what she wants to wear, how she wants her food, and NO! all the time NO! (I remember this stage with Zech!WELL!). She has such a funny attitude and loves to dance. We were in a restaurant last night and the music was oddly loud. We look over and as Lily is eating she is dancing all over the place. She is such a fun lady!

3rd. This Sunday we are starting a new ministry. We call it ministry, but we may grow just as much as anyone else! We are starting a young marriages group. We are starting with dinner and a challenge then we will see where it takes us in the next year or so. It is geared for anyone married 10 years or under. So far we have 4 other couple coming... all have been married well under 4 years (one I am not sure about... but I think its under 4). We will celebrate 8 years in a couple of months. I am not sure we know MORE about marriage, but we've done it longer. And we STILL love one another! I am just so excited! Most have children, or step-children, or trying for children. The excitement comes in many aspects... 1st This is where Dave and I are starting to feel drawn. Family Ministries. When a family prays together, goes to church together, and is CHRISTIAN together I think lives can be changed (all around this family). 2nd These young families grow our church. We need young people in a church in order for the church to be around in 50 years! So its nice to be able to encourage them to bring in more young couples! 3rd. The challenge we will give I think can do so much in the kingdom... I won't post it yet, but it starts with seeing the movie FIREPROOF! (google it!) and lastly and LEAST as important, I get to host! I love this! We are having a dinner at our house, and I get to do it all! I love that! I've got all my fall stuff out (sunday is the first day of fall!).

I am just so excited about all this new stuff and what it does to our family! So sorry if it bored you all... I will post the challenge sunday night! It'd be great if every married couple did something like it! I know you will all be waiting intently on that! hehe!

Honeymoon is over
I really shouldn't say that... but today was a bit harder with homeschooling. I read in a book (one I really liked) that you should only praise and make the learning experience GREAT! And that you should never use the words "Your not even trying!" However, when your son takes his pencil and scribbles all over his worksheet while glaring you down, isn't it safe to say he really isn't trying. I am trying not to get so overwhelmed if he doesn't catch on as quick as I think he should. Z was easy. He already had been practicing writing it. And my goal was to have him writing his name by the end of the month. So, today we did E. lowercase, mind you! e... e... e... I made worksheets of elephants trying to get to the nuts... and he stayed within the lines... but to actually write it was a challenge.
Dave and I had a long "discussion" last night on how we should teach him to make it. I learned in my handwritting class in college (yes, I took a class on how to write perfect manuscript, and cursive... its mandatory in the state of MO to get your degree!) The manuscript way is to make a C lift your pencil, and make the line that finishes your e. HOWEVER, I never learned it that way in school. And what if I send him to say, 4th grade, will they undo what I've taught and confuse him!? So we decided it would probably be cursive in4th grade so teach him to do one continuous stroke... so I teach... Straight line, up and over... I repeat this OVER AND OVER as I write it using his hand. he repeats back to me, STRAIGHT UP AND OVER! However, the "shape" on the paper was NOTHING! he wouldn't do the straight, and then makes a circle, or squiggle, or looks at me in a full fledged glare and scribbled on his paper!
So, I made him tough it out. I don't want him to get in his head that that behavior stops school... and we moved on as if he hadn't had done it.
However. After nap, he found an ink pen and made the most glorious e I have ever seen! Maybe he just had to sleep on it!
As I am showing him that the Z sound and the E sound come together to form his name (for those of you who don't know, his name is ZECH, rhymes with DECK, not ZACK rhyming with SACK!) so we say his name slowly to hear the zzzz eeeee K sound. He says, "Okay, can I go watch Wipeout?" TOTALLY done! UGH! he's just 3, right? School isn't that important! its just the schedule we are getting used to... right? RIGHT!? He's SO smart (I am bias, I know) so I know he can learn this. I guess the honeymoon's over!

1 Corinthians 9:24-25

A few weeks ago the older kids in kids church had to memorize 1 Corinthians 9:24, 25.

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize. Run in such a way to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games, goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever."

At the table at lunch, Zech recited the entire first verse. And missed only a few words in the 2nd one. I was amazed. I got the camera out... He was too goofy to do the 2nd part of the verse... but even Lily caught on and could fill in blanks!

VENT
Proverbs 31:11 "Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value." & 12 "She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."
Because of the above verse, I had to delete my previous post... I hadn't actually published it yet. I actually thought it said "She brings honor to her husband in the marketplace" but I didn't find that verse. Either way, thats what God told me... To bring honor to my husband in the marketplace (or on the web!)... so needlesstosay I needed to delete my previous rant!!!
I am just feeling a bit worthless today. Like there is no value in what I do. I tell myself as I clean my house, teach my kids, and prepare dinner that what I do is the right thing to do, but sometimes the confidence is gone. And I wish my husband could honestly say this about me! "that he has full confidence in me..." but sometimes that isn't said. And I feel I do lack in value. I need to just leave it at that, and in God's hands. I always tell the youth and will continue to tell my kids that we always do whats right. No matter who cuts you down, no matter what everyone around you does. You are responsible for your own actions and held accountable to your own choices... so as much as I'd love to vent my rants... I must follow the last part of that verse... Even when I want to... never mind!

DAY ONE is over

I could barely sleep last night. As if it was MY first day at school. And if you have read my previous blogs you'd understand why...

Today I set no objective other than just to play it by ear, learn what he likes, and start the routine. And praise God. I accomplished that much and more. Zech seemed to really like it. I had his undivided attention for a full 90 minutes. Thats great! I lost my watch and haven't installed a clock in our room yet, so I really had no clue of how much time had passed. I basically wanted to get through a few things and then let him explore.

First he was upset that he wasn't "GOING" to school. So I learned that I need to change my words... maybe DOING school is a better phrase. We went outside with our weather cards and choose the weather. Zech said it was Hot and Sunny. Lily got the warm card. Then we headed down to put it on our chart. We moved the arrow to September and started our calendar. Zech loved the "There are 7 Days" song and will learn his days soon. He repeated the date and used the pointer to show us how to read it "Today is... Tuesday, September 2, 2008!

We then practiced the Z... what words have Zs in them. And as he traced his fingers over the cardboard Z, we recited words. I said Zeeeebra, Ziiipper, ZZZZooo... He caught on quickly and said ZZZech, ZZZoom, ZZZZero! I was very impressed. So I drew a few on the board and then gave him his first worksheet.

I made this on the computer to teach him the directions to move his pencil. We had used an arrow on the board to teach the directions, then he had to get the zebra to the apple. In hopes he would get the hang of how the direction of a Z went.

He look scholarly already, doesn't he?

He is one of those kids that must stand to do their work.
The result? Check out that Z!
This is what Lily did while we had school. She sat and listened to "circle" (if you can call it that) time for all of 7 minutes!
cute though, huh?
Once he had drew a few Zs, we did some math. We sorted foam pieces (some had been chewed on... so I guess Lily did a few other things while we were learning).

This was one activity Lily really liked. She messed it up for Zech though, and he wasn't too happy!

She just couldn't figure out Zech's sorting method! Can you?

They then got to play in the "Sensory Table". Which is really just a gazillion little bags of different beans. I have a rice one at church, but learned very quickly how messy that can get. At least you can pick beans up with your hands... and believe me, I did!

Zech was given this page (below) as a guide to the "treasures" hidden inside...

He had a blast. I was so happy that he was having such a fun time.

Lily didn't care much about the list until she found something... then she was very excited.

There was a little surprise hidden inside...

Which prompted us to get back to the Letter Z...

He got some all the way up by his ear!

And that brings us to ZEE END OF ZZ (until his next class on Friday).

Don't worry, they won't all be this long, nor have so many pictures... Today was a big day for us... well for me!

"...God's initial goal for Christian homeschooling families is not the raising of godly children. Instead, God's wonderful, but subtly hidden agenda is that the homeschooling experience be so challenging for the parents that they feel the need and hunger for a closer walk with their heavenly Father." (Kyle Miller)

Lord, I pray for a healthy school year. I pray for the desire to raise godly children because You are creating me into your godly child!

We start tomorrow. Please, Lord, give me the ways to teach, the words to say, the patience to persevere.

Introducing Ciske Homeschool

We are SO blessed! We found a HUGE remnant carpet for $44. Originally we looked at spending $30... and that WAS NOT happening... We decided we could not afford to carpet the entire room, so we had other plans, but we found a 11x15 (that I think was actually bigger) for $44... so it covers the entire room! I am WAY excited. So we are ready for the first day of school (hense the date on the chalk-board).

This is the alphabet around the top, the calendar/todayis... tomorrow is... yesteday was.../weather wall. With a chalkboard.

The I CAN sign is just for Zech who says "I can't" all the time.

This is the chalkboard for the kids

This is my # caterpillar that Lily LOVES

This is the "reading nook" and my storage area

Also as you can see, I SUCK at spray paint, so my chalkboard is a bit drippy... and until I get white wall paint (which isn't in the budget anywhere) it will stay drippy... and that is OKAY with me... well, I have been told it has to be!

We are pretty happy... and its already been prayed over! now we wait for a blessed school year!

The Classroom

I will post pictures soon, but my classroom is almost done. I have a chalkboard, a calendar, a weather chart, a "Today is, Tomorrow is, Yesterday is" section, An alphabet around the top of the room, a caterpillar that bears the #s... a desk, a table, sorting toys, puzzles, lacing cards! Its almost done. I just spent 20 minutes just standing in the room, hoping and dreaming. I went to college to be a teacher. I should know how to do this. I've taught first graders, and 6th graders... I 've taught 2 year olds, 4 year olds, I should be able to teach ONE three year old! So, I pray that his school experience is a good one. I pray that he is eager to "go to school". I pray for patience in teaching and for wisdom in how to teach. I pray that his mind will be open, eager, and willing! I pray his brain swells with knowledge... I pray my fear will go away!
I am hoping to get carpet this weekend, and then I will be done... I will then just make sure all the activities are lined up! Again, I pray my fear will go away!

A Few unsaid things

A lot has beeing going on lately, and I feel I just can't keep up! And part of it is just the overwhelming brain I have. I have about a billion MORE things that go through my mind "to do" that getting anything done seems to come second only to THINKING about getting it done! Does this even make any sense?

First of all I finished the wedding. I actually photographed my first wedding. I cried all day. The Bride was gorgeous and she is such a soft spot in my heart. I was so happy to get to spend the day with her on such a special occasion. However, I didn't think the pictures went as I had planned them in my head. I knew it as I was taking them. We just didn't think things through as much as I thought. I had a detailed list of poses, and didn't get some that I thought were most important. Her flowers didn't come until after the couple pictures, so she had no pictures of her and her husband and her bouquet... which seemed so weird to me.

But overall, she does have some pretty shots... I was just so disappointed in myself. I really thought I would have done better. So as I looked at the shots, I cry each time, feeling like I failed her. I hope that there is that slim chance she is satisfied. Her photobook is gorgeous, so maybe that will seal it up.

Here are some of my favorites... I do have MANY more, but I will limit it to this.

This is Zech, my son, for those of you who haven't seen him in a long time... We had such an experience getting this tux on him. He hated getting measured, so they mismeasured (even when I said that I thought they did and that we needed to get it right!) So when the tux came in, it was double his size... his shirt was SO HUGE (even when I told her NOT to order a small 3 year old a size 5 shirt!). So we had to go back to try it on twice. Each time he screamed and cried and told us he would never wear it! I tried telling him it was a superhero outfit, and that Daddy would be wearing one too... nothing worked. Dave just decided to get him dressed. Just like anyother day, and Zech was fine with that. He said "I don't want to be a superhero!" Daddy said thats fine, just get dressed. So he gets his pants on, his ENORMOUS SHIRT on and then the tie-- "I don't want to be OPA!" (Opa wears ties to preach) (Opa is our name for Grandpa). Dave tells him he doesn't have to "What do you want to be?" Zech says "ZECH IN A TUX!" DUH!

Zech starts homeschool on September 2nd. I thought we had 2 weekends to finish up loose ends, but my parents will be here next weekend, so we have until next thursday. I am so nervous. I don't feel like he needs 2.5 hours of sit down and learn time at 3 years old. And if it weren't for his personality, I wouldn't start at 3. However, he is stubborn when he is forced to do something, so this year's goal is to introduce him to the "school" process, To have a time of structured play (even if its unstructured in a structured atmosphere), and to write his name! hehe! I really want to see him write his name. When I try to teach him in restaurants (on the kids menu) or when he is coloring, or on the computer, he is SO NOT interested! So, I just want to set up the room and make it interesting.

We have cleared a room in the basement, I have the weather wall, the calendar, the ABCs around the room (things I loved about studying elementary ed), I even have a chalk wall... just Zech and Lily's size! he has workbooks, and center activities. I am excited and VERY nervous! We start at 3 because I need the practice of patience and by trial and error learn what will help him learn when school actually counts. I homeschool not just because I am a complete control freak as I tease. I actually feel its my job. Being in the traditional schools means someone else is teaching him more hours a day than i am... and thats just not okay with me. he's too young to be sent out to deal with that. THIS IS MY CHOICE... and I am not knocking anyone else. I just feel like its my job to care for him, to teach him, to protect him.

So, I get a promotion! I am not JUST mommy now, I am a preschool teacher!

I'll post pics of the finished project of his school room! IF I ever get it done!

NEW ADVENTURES

I sometimes struggle with the talents God has given me. I praise him for the ones that I am aware of. And without sounding braggadocios, I feel confident in my teaching ability, my ability to come up with lessons on a whim, and flow with Children's ministry... hense the reason I went to school to be a teacher. However, there are other things I want to do, I love to do, and I HOPE I've been blessed with the talent, yet I question on every turn.
Living here has been great for me. I will NEVER look back on our stay in Wisconsin and ask "I wonder why God sent us there". I always assume God sends us to where DAVE can minister. He is the pastor, our lives go for that direction. I am fine with that, I wanted that, I signed up for that. But I know beyond a shadow of a doubt (FAR BEYOND) that one of the many reasons we moved here was for God to show me some things I CAN do.
I love taking pictures, I love looking at photography, I love capturing the exact essence of the mood with my camera. When Rachel got engaged I was asked to be the wedding photographer. The Ciske family has confidence in me, and in that talent that maybe I don't even realize I have at times. I have wonderful subjects most of the time, so I always think the pictures are gorgeous. But they see something in me that I don't always see in myself. They make me feel like MAYBE maybe I could go into business doing this.
So, its wedding week. I've been online studying technique and poses. I've played with everything about my camera I will EVER understand, and have (not your fault, Rachel) lost sleep over this! I am scared out of my mind. I am nervous to the point I may pee my pants. I am so afraid her day will not be recorded correctly. The day is fast approaching. I have 4 days 18 hours!
And then I am reminded through that wonderful God I serve, of the principle we've been teaching our kids on a daily basis.
Zech says "I can't!" and I remind him (as he quote the verse from memory now!)
I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME! -Philippians 4:13
Why worry, when that doesn't make a better photography. I live for God, I love for God, I will work for God. He will take care of the talent, the inspiration, and the confidence. He will make me a better photographer!
Colossians 3:17 "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."
1 Corinthians 10:31 "So whether you eat or drink or whatever (photography) you do, do it all for the glory of God." (photography added :))
So, I will stop. I will pray. I will do it for God's glory!

The Prayer
For Auntie Rachel's wedding, Dave is singing Celine Dion (well, Beckie sings that part) and Josh Groban's The Prayer (I don't think they are the original singers??)
So he's been practicing since its in Italian and Dave barely knows French after taking it in highschool... let alone picking up Italian in less than 2 months!
Zech thinks its pretty fun to hear Daddy sing jibberish. Zech is like "No big deal, I can sing jibberish!"
So we finally got it on video.
I guess you can't put Youtube videos on here... or I don't know how... so follow the link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdjuOzwtf9c
And be sure to watch to the end... thats his best part!

A Healthy Snack Makes Happy Kids
A while ago when there was not enough cereal to make a complete bowl I started making a special snack for the kids. I'd mix really whatever I was running low on (Dry things only)in a big bowl and serve it as a snack. Now, its about all I make anymore. I specifically look for little treats that can be added to the "Funky Snack" as we now call it .
Recently Zech had a friend over to play and when I served Snack the boy said "What kind of snack is this?" Zech sat up proud and said "My mom made it!" I was very pleased. He explained "Its our funky snack". The boy actually loved it. They compared what they had in their mixture and what they were currently eating.








Ingredients for this particular "FUNKY SNACK"

• -Kix
• -Life Cereal
• -Quaker Oatmeal Bites
• -Baby goldfish
• -Goldfish pretzels
• -Sixlets
• -Raisins

And although you can't see it in Zech's bowl (because he eats it first) we can't have the funky snack without popcorn! And they LOVE when I put marshmallows in it (thats the special treat... more than the chocolate sixlets).

I think its kinda fun... They think its delicious, and I don't think they know how healthy it is! I am very pleased at how proud my kids are of it, and how happy it makes them!

I am married to a 30 year old Man!

My husband has turned 30. Its not really that big of deal to us. It doesn't seem possible that he is already 30, but it hasn't changed much.
I am in awe of my husband. I have been since our meeting, but even now thinking about him being "an older man" (which really, is 30 even "old"?) I can reflect back to when he was in his early twenties. We were getting married with so many dreams, and those dreams still exsist very much.
But he's grown so much as a man, just being a father. He's always been such a great husband to me, but to see him as a daddy to his kids, well lets just say I am amazed!
His immediate patience, soft spoken word, and fatherly embrace is everything I've ever dreamed about in a dad!
This man is amazing to me. He can get so upset, but listens to reason. I hear this isn't always a trait men have. He is "blessed" with a wife that is pretty outspoken, so when things don't seem right, the complaint is too often voiced. And he actually listens and thinks about it. And if it is something that should be changed, he changes... no glances back. If its something that I'm out of line in, he lets me know... thats good in my eyes!
This man is so amazing to me. He gives up sleep, money, food, comfort for the family. There are many times he has to stay up because I just can't keep my eyes open. He goes without so I can have some spending money (even when I don't realize he's gone without), he always gives me what I like even if its what he'd rather eat, and he ALWAYS lets me lay on the couch even if its not always comfortable for him... hehe!
But seriously, I don't just love this man because of all the things he does for ME! I love him for who he is.

I remember when I first met him, there was somethign about his hands. I wanted to hold them right away. I don't know what it was, but he had (and still has) really great hands. There is no doubt they were made for making music!

He is a godly man, A man that seeks his God for all his needs, A man who worships his Master with a beautiful voice and a wonderful character, and a man whose desire is to bring others closer to his Savior because he values the closeness he himself has. He is a man who plays music for an audience of one. He never looks out into the crowd because its only Jesus' face he sees!

I love this man! He is one collage of "wonderfulness"!!!
I wanted to be sure to document this 30th birthday with a page in our yearly scrapbook, so I took some pictures... He sure is handsome too!